When I got married, I couldn't wait to spend every day with the man of my dreams. But after about 730 consecutive days of dirty laundry and nights of thunderous snoring, I began to wonder what I'd gotten myself into. Fairytales will lead you to believe that a partner will make your life complete. The story usually ends after a picture perfect wedding, and you're left to assume that everyone goes on to live happily ever after. But the unfortunate reality is that a real marriage couldn't be any more different, and there are reasons a marriage rut is totally normal.
One of the best things about marriage is the love and companionship you share with your significant other. However, it can be easy to get comfortable and even bored with the idea of someone being around all the time. Which is why the drudgery of day to day life can completely drain all of the romance out of a relationship.
As mentioned in Everyday Health, about 10 percent of first marriages end in divorce within five years. But don't let those statistics scare you. By simply making time to remember why you married your partner and making an effort to nurture your relationship with things like date nights and spontaneous romantic phone calls, you can do your part to keep the spark in your relationship alive. Remember, all relationships have peaks and valleys. As long as you continue to work at your marriage, the rut won't last long.
1Baby Changes Everything
In an article in Parenting, New York City couples therapistJohn Jacobs mentioned that the addition of children can be one of the greatest stressors on a marriage. Caring for children, especially when they're young, requires a lot of the energy and time that a couple once used to care for one another.
2Routine Can Get Boring
After three years of Taco Tuesdays, you may be in the mood for something else. As mentioned in Psychology Today, people often lose interest in things when they become familiar. Every now and then, it might not hurt to switch things up and order a pizza.
3Reality Sets In
The first couple of years of marriage can be exciting while you and your partner are getting to know one another and still excited about the possibilities of your life together. But as mentioned in Everyday Health, at about the three year mark, the honeymoon effect wears off and the reality of life and household responsibilities set in.
4Work Gets In The Way
It can be tough to find time to nurture your relationship when you're also trying to climb the corporate ladder. In an article in Women's Health, couples coach Jim Sniechowski warned couples that letting their work be more important than their marriage can cause problems.
5They're Always There
Once you've gotten comfortable with the idea of someone else sharing your space, it can sometimes feel a little crowded. And if you're not careful, the sight of your spouse can elicit an eye roll, or worse. An article in Fox News magazine stated that 48 percent of men who cheated on their spouses did so out of emotional dissatisfaction, rather than an issue with sexual dissatisfaction.
6You Stop Doing Things You Love
As mentioned in Brides magazine, it can be helpful to spend time away from your spouse to cultivate your own interests. The time apart can help each person maintain their identity, and rejuvenate a relationship rut.
7Once Cute Habits Become Annoying
When you were dating, his humming was cute. But now that you're married, it sounds more like a sick animal. As mentioned in Redbook, becoming annoyed with your partner's habits is a definite sign of a marriage rut. You can both benefit from giving each other a little breathing room.