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7 Reasons Not To Be Embarrassed About Hating Foreplay

For some women, foreplay is an absolute necessity. They need a good 20 minutes of buildup before they’re in the right place — mentally and physically — to really enjoy sex. And there are countless articles and sex advice columns that address this common need, cajoling men to be more accommodating of this need. But on the flip side, some women could take it or leave it. And if this sounds like you, there’s no need to feel weird; in fact, there are plenty of reasons not to be embarrassed about hating foreplay.

As long as you’re happy with your sex life and the absence of foreplay works well for you and your partner, then there is no harm done. Sexuality is tremendously variable, so what works for one woman might leave you feeling “meh” at best. And that’s fine! It’s the spice of life and all that.

So if you’d rather spend 20 minutes watching Netflix instead of having your neck nuzzled (or whatever variation you dislike), then you do you. In fact, there’s probably a lot of women who would love to skip the need for this lengthy ramping up process and just get straight to the goods. After all, delayed gratification is not for everybody.

1. There Are Time Constraints

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What if you and your SO only have a couple of minutes to spare, and you don't want to waste any time warming up? Use this workaround from Women's Health and "give yourself a kick start with a little lube before you get going." Racing the clock can still be fun for both of you.

2. You're Ready For The Main Event

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Maybe you’re the kind of person who skips appetizers and moves right on to the main dish. That's cool. In fact, as reported in New Scientist, some women may become aroused as quickly as men, so your response just might be faster than average. As long as you know what works best for your own situation, go for it.

3. It Feels Scripted

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Does it feel like your SO is just going through the motions? A biting piece in The Sun noted that such 'boreplay' "becomes so well choreographed, you can predict his next move with psychic-like accuracy." If this is the case, then skipping it altogether might be preferable.

4. You're Uncomfortable With It

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If you aren’t already in the mood, then the steps leading up to sex can feel a little awkward. As noted in Women's Health, there are plenty of reasons you might not want to have sex at the moment. Sometimes you don't even want to pretend otherwise.

5. It Doesn't Do Much For You

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Hey, maybe foreplay just isn't your thing. A Daily Mail piece reported that many women don't find foreplay adds much to their overall enjoyment of sex. If you'd just rather skip it altogether, that's cool too.

6. You're Asexual

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And there's always the chance that you just aren't into any type of sex. As Psychology Today noted, about one percent of the population, or "approximately 70 million people," may be asexual. And that's totally cool as well.  

7. You're Feeling Self-Conscious

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If you're a bit self-conscious — say you're feeling shy with a new partner — then you may want to "head straight for sex," as Glamour noted. This is fine in the short term (everybody has off days!), and you can also work on ways to feel more confident during sex.