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7 Reasons Not To Be Embarrassed About Liking BDSM

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By now, you've probably heard of BDSM, thanks to a little franchise called Fifty Shades of Grey. But long before Anastasia Steele was even "born," people were having kinky sex. Still, you might be tempted to blush about some things that turn you on. Chief among the reasons not to be embarrassed about liking BDSM is your sex life is no one's business but your own. Most people you get in bed with won't make you sign a non-disclosure, but that was just one of the things the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise got wrong about BDSM (bondage-discipline, dominance-submission, sadism-masochism).

But enough about Christian and Ana. As Psychology Today noted, some of the misconceptions about BDSM are that people who are into it are "anxious and maladjusted; that they are acting out a past history of sexual abuse; and that they are attempting to compensate for sexual difficulties." Recent research has actually found the opposite to be true. According to a 2013 Dutch study that compared the psychological characters of those who were into BDSM and those who weren't, BDSM people are, on average, more extroverted, open to experience and conscientious, and less neurotic. They were also found to be less sensitive to rejection, more securely attached, and higher in subjective well-being than the comparison group.

Still, it's important to remember that who people are in bed aren't necessarily who they are in life. Your sexuality is only one aspect of who you are as a person. So if you want to toss any embarrassment about your kink factor, stop taking it all so seriously. BDSM is just one way you like to get freaky, and for good reason.

1. You Own A Cat O' Nine Tails

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I mean, this is a must-have accessory, ladies. Whip your style game into formation.

2. You're Less Neurotic Than People Who Don't Practice BDSM

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According to a 2005 study reported in Psychology Today,  doms are significantly lower in neuroticism than all the other groups. Can role-playing affect your confidence level? I'm no scientist, but there's definitely something interesting going on here.

3. You're Open Minded

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As sex expert Gloria Brame told BuzzFeed, the most distinctive quality about BDSM is not the whips and chains, but the open mindedness about sexuality. "BDSM doesn’t have to follow any pattern," she said. "And there is no one model for what a BDSM relationship can be." Sounds pretty refreshing to me.

4. You've Studied Sexuality

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I'm not saying there's a reading list required for kink, but most likely, you did your research on BDSM practices. That means you've read up on sexuality, which makes you smart, savvy, not to mention, sexy AF.

5. You Communicate During Sex

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How rad is it that you can talk and do it at the same time? From experience, having BDSM sex requires tons of convo. To me, the verbal communication in additional to the physical adds an extra layer of intimacy to love making.

6. You Probably Have Never Been Inside A Dungeon

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Unless you are very wealthy, know someone who is very wealthy, or are on the guest list to very exclusive parties, your BDSM experiences will likely not involve a dungeon.

7. You Get What You Want

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Ask and you shall receive. And there's nothing wrong with that, or any of your other predilections, in and out of bed.