Let’s face it, when you’ve been with someone for a few years, exciting sex can fall to the wayside. You get comfortable, you get complacent, you start to value you your sleep more than you value ... well, most other things, and the rest is history. Suddenly you’re doing the same old thing twice a week to fulfill a sort of sexual quota, rather than enjoying moments of intimacy with your partner. How to fix this conundrum? There seem to be plenty of pointers out there for heteronormative couples, but how about same sex positions for long term couples?
Long term couples enjoy the privilege of familiarity, trust, and a strong base of knowledge about their partners. For some this can lead to a sexual-rut. But when you take that same trust and knowledge and use it to your advantage, you can really amp up your sex life. As Romper primarily focuses on motherhood and the female gaze on life, I decided to stick with same-sex couples of the female variety. Sara, 31, has been in her current relationship for five years, and Melanie, 29, has been in her current relationship for two years. With their help, and the help of a little bit of internet research, I dove into the world of sex positions for same sex couples who have had the privilege of being together for a few years. Because it turns out, trust is sexy as hell, and so is being in a long term committed relationship.
"Yes, it's possible for two women to have sex, doggie style," Sara says. "My partner and I were together for about a year before we introduced the idea of a strap-on into our sex life, and I know plenty of gay women who aren't interested in them at all — but it's something we like to play with every once in a while. Because we've been together for so long, there's no stress about finding ourselves in an embarrassing or compromising situation. We don't use it every time, but it is a fun option to switch things up when you're comfortable with your partner, and when you're looking for something new."
2Big Spoon, Little Spoon
Regardless of which spoon position you take, this position is sure to satisfy. "Big spoon can reach around to the front of little spoon to finger her, or play with her clitoris," Sara says. "It's another good position if you're into using a strap-on, or toys. Little spoon can reach behind to big spoon and entice her with anal play, which is another perk of being in a long-term relationship. When you know what your partner likes, you can try every position under the sun to try and please her, and vice versa."
3Kneeling, With Toys
"Sometimes, we like to use toys," Melanie says. "I like it when my girlfriend gets on all fours, and I do the same behind her. From this angle, she has less control over what I'm doing, since she can't see me, and I can do things like pull her hair, pinch her nipples, and grind on her from behind. Toys are a fun and simple way to keep things interesting, especially since there are so many of them out there these days."
When you've been with the same partner for years, there's a certain level of trust and lack of inhibitions you experience with one another, which allows you to take a position like this to the next level."Put a pillow or two beneath your partner's hips," Melanie says. "Kneel down between her legs, and you're in the perfect position for her legs to go over your shoulders, and for you to grip her thighs. If and when she squirms, you can control how far away you let her get, and how much of a break you give her."
5Sit On Top
"This position can be crazy intimate," Sara says. "Sitting on your partner's chest, being in control of what angle provides the most clitoral stimulation for you, and the feeling of your partner's fingers gripping into your thighs? It doesn't get much more intimate than that. In my experience, it's great no matter which position you take."
Lying on your side and facing one another requires a little less acrobatics, but providing a lot of pleasure. "It provides easier access for both of us, and it's easier to incorporate fingering into the deal when you're at a side angle, rather than focusing on which angle is the best," Melanie says. :It's less pressure, and a better outcome for both, at least in our experience. It allows you to focus on the act, rather than where your limbs are, or how balanced you are on top, and the less difficult the position, the more likely you and your partner are to both get off."
"Tying your partner up is something that requires a serious level of trust," Sara says. "But once you're at that level, it can be pretty incredible. Tying her arms behind her back, and performing cunnilingus from behind, or tying her to the bed and going down on her the good old fashioned way — both are a testament to trust, love, and how well you know your partner's body. There's nothing quite as intimate as being able to watch your partner react to your touch, without being able to do anything in return."