Navigating the sea of family dynamics can be tricky. Throw your partner's family into the mix, and it can makes things even more complicated. Mothers-in-law in particular can be difficult to deal with. Whether you have a "monster-in-law" or an angel of a mother-in-law, learning the signs that you and your mother-in-law will actually be OK can help you manage the testing times and focus on the good ones.
Of course, no family is perfect and even the sweetest of mothers-in-law can have their moments. It's normal for and relationship to ebb and flow, and just because you and your MIL go through rough patches doesn't mean there isn't a light at the end of the tunnel of your relationship.
If you can identify with any of these mother-in-law/daughter-in-law scenarios, then chances are the two of you will be just fine. Your MIL most likely isn't out to destroy your chances with her child, control your children, or ruin your life in general. She may have her own way of doing things, and the two of you may clash from time to time, but at the end of the day, you both love your partner and will find a way to make things work.
1. She Respects Your Decisions
One of the most infuriating things a daughter-in-law can experience is the feeling that their spouse's parent doesn't respect their decisions when it comes to their kids. In fact, Popsugar noted that questioning your parenting motives is how mothers-in-law drive a wedge. If she doesn't subtly or obviously undermine your parenting, you can count yourself lucky.
2. She Doesn't Talk Negatively About You To Your Partner
Talking about you behind your back to your spouse or anyone else is another huge red flag. Chances are your partner would tell if you it's happening and hopefully, be on your side. According to The Washington Post, this kind of behavior isn't because they dislike you but because they're looking to place themselves in a superior position. If you don't have to deal with smack talking, you're gonna be fine.
3. She Give Heartfelt Gifts
It's usually pretty easy to tell if a gift is heartfelt or not. Even if your mother-in-law has opposite tastes as you, gift giving is usually a sign that she's at least trying.
4. She Has Photos Of You in Her House
This simple act is often much more endearing than you'd think. Displaying photos of you and your spouse in her home shows that she is at least supportive and proud to have the two of you together.
5. She Includes You, Begrudgingly Or Not, In Family Events
According to some chat room boards, the feeling that a mother-in-law purposefully excludes you is all too common. A decent mother-in-law will at least make sure you know that you're welcome at family events.
6. She Attempts To Make A Relationship With Your Family
Even more than inviting you to things, your mother-in-law might make conscious efforts to get to know your family and maybe even invite them to other events like one big happy family.
7. She Tries
More than anything else, if your mother-in-law simply tries, meaning she puts in the effort to make you feel loved and included, however imperfectly, she's one of the good ones.