As the brilliant character Mindy Lahiri once noted, "A best friend isn't a person... it's a tier." As most people begin plant their feet fully in the realm of adulthood, having a few people — or best friends — you can count on becomes a precious commodity. You keep your inner circle close because you know how valuable a good friend can be in life. Yet, sometimes, one person in particular will stand out among the rest: your spouse. So what are some signs that you and your spouse are best friends?
One of the perks of having your partner double as your BFF is that you have a built-in buddy for life—and isn't that what marriage is supposed to be about anyways? Clearly I must have saved an entire village or rescued a thousand baby kittens in a past life, because I'm lucky enough to have married the person I know in my heart is my absolute best friend.
So if you're trying to figure out if the person you married is the Thelma to your Louise, the Ben Wyatt to your Leslie Knope, or the Tara to your Willow, then check out these signs that you and your spouse are best friends.
1. There Are No Pretenses
Regardless of how long you have been with each other, if you find that you can be your true, uninhibited self around this person, then that's definitely a sign that you and your spouse are totally best friends.
2. Life Is Good
Sure, life can have its ups and downs, but if you feel overall that you are pretty satisfied with how things are going, you probably have your spouse to thank for that. In a recent study at the University of British Columbia, researchers Shawn Grover and John F. Helliwell found that, "the well-being effects of marriage are about twice as large for those whose spouse is also their best friend."
3. It's More Than Lust
In the beginning of any kind of romantic relationship, hormones definitely play a role. But after some time has passed, if there's any hope for longevity, you have to be able to feel like you can just hang out with your partner, too. If you can just chill on the couch and binge-watch Netflix, then congrats, your SO is also your BFF.
4. You're Excited For Each Other
Remember when you were a teenager and your best friend would rush over because you were the first person she wanted to tell her good news to? According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, "close relationship partners often share successes and triumphs with one another." Additionally, the research found that responses to positive event discussions were more closely related to relationship well-being. So if your spouse is the first person you want to share news with (and they're happy to hear the news), then they just may be your bestie.
5. Your Trust Levels Are Solid
Trust is the basis for virtually any kind of relationship. I remember my parents telling me that trust was like a wall that could be rebuilt, but it would never be the same as it was before it was broken. So if you feel like you and your spouse are able to trust each other wholly and completely, then your friendship will be equally strong.
6. You've Made Memories
Researcher Dr. Alice Boyes wrote in Psychology Today that being able to reminisce about positive, shared experiences and feeling like you've come out of challenges as a stronger team are signs that you and your partner's relationship and friendship is healthy. If you find that the positive memories that you've shared outweigh the bad, you're on the BFF track.
7. They Are The First Person You Turn To
Whether it was a bad day at work, your car broke down, or even something serious like a loved one passed away, if your spouse is the first person who immediately comes to mind, then they mean more to you than anyone else in the world. Isn't that what a best friend is, too?
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