Everyone wants to know about signs that their relationship will last because jumping into something with an uncertain future can be nerve-wracking (to say the least). But, unfortunately, no relationship, no matter how solid, healthy, and loving, is an absolute sure thing. Still, there are tons of signs, large and small, that your relationship will likely last long-term. And while you might not think that they'd have this kind of insight, some of your wedding vendors may be able to tell a lot about the potential success of your relationship. The signs your marriage will last, according to wedding photographers, range from observations they make while interacting with you during the planning process in meetings and on other occasions leading up to your big day to what they see on your wedding day itself. And though they're quick to caution that these signs (or lack of them) don't always mean that your marriage will for sure last (or fail), when you've been interacting with couples as closely as wedding photographers do for your entire career, you start to pick up on relationships that seem great versus relationships that might not have as stable of a foundation.
Wedding photographers are there to capture all the moments of your day, so they're often present for things that you may want kept from your guests and others in attendance. And they tend to be highly observant, which means they're able to pick up on even little things between the two of you that you may think go unnoticed. The signs that wedding photographers say indicate that your marriage will last are worth paying attention to, because some are far more subtle than you might think.
1. Your Families Clearly Get Along Well
Though it might not be a deal-breaker if your families don't know each other all that well or don't seem to have much in common, if your families do get along, that can help make your life together easier as well.
"Choosing between your parents and your spouse puts you in a tough spot," Jimmy Chan, a photographer and the owner of Pixelicious, tells Romper by email. "There are many reasons why a person can't blend into someone else's family: language barriers, religion, social status, and earning power. Couples tie the knot believing that things will work out but the daily grind with the family eventually tires you out, forcing you to call it quit. Having both families in harmony is a sign that the marriage will last."
And if your families can't get along during the wedding planning process or on your wedding day, that might not be a great sign.
2. You Say "I Love You" & "Thank You"
Treating your partner with respect is important if you want your relationship to last and the way that you talk to each other can be a major indicator of the way you treat each other. "Those little 'I love you’s,' 'thank you's,' and 'pleases' are all signs that there is mutual respect in the relationship," Victoria Johansson, a photographer and the owner of Victoria Johansson Photography, tells Romper in an email exchange. "Barking orders at the other person? Not so much."
3. You Talk About Your Partner Respectfully When They're Not Around
Speaking to your partner lovingly and respectfully is important, of course, but it's just as important to be respectful of your partner when they're not around. "Little inside jokes and jabs are one thing. Calling your partner 'stupid' and 'incompetent' because they failed to do XYZ is a completely different ball game altogether," Johansson says.
4. Your Wedding Didn't Cost Way More Than Your Budget
Many people have a budget of which they need to be mindful when they're planning their wedding. If you go far beyond your budget, that can cause some serious tension within the relationship. "If our newlyweds managed their wedding budget well, chances are the marriage will last when they face even bigger challenges such as buying a new home or starting a family," Chan says. "Those who went into debt to cover their wedding expenses are at a much higher risk of breaking up or divorce." Fighting over money and finances isn't uncommon, so staying within your budget may allow you to avoid some of that.
5. You Focus On The Bigger Picture About Your Life Together, Not Tiny Details
It's easy to get preoccupied with the tiny details that go into planning a big event like a wedding, but if you focus on those instead of the bigger picture — it's supposed to celebrate your life together, after all — that might not be a great sign.
"A focus on the long-term impact of the wedding (the marriage) vs the short term (did the bouquet come out just right?) shows that the couple are in this for the right reasons," Johansson says.
6. You're Able To Laugh Off The Wedding Day Complications
"Most weddings have something going wrong on the day of," Johansson says. "That is more or less a fact. Marriage, and life in general, will throw many curveballs over time, and how you handle setbacks on your wedding day is an indicator of how you may handle life’s setbacks in general. Relationships that get dragged down with every obstacle that comes along can become quite toxic, and the ability to deal with those issues without letting them get to you, becomes an important skill in life as well as in your relationship."
You can't ensure that absolutely everything will go picture-perfect on your wedding day, but you can focus on the two of you and your relationship instead of worrying over each obstacle that comes your way. Knowing that the two of you can handle what comes instead of getting bogged down in things that you can't control is a sign that the two of you really might be together forever.
7. Your Partner Stands Up For You When Need Be
You and your partner are a team, so you should both be willing to stand up for the other if the need to do so arises. "If, for example, the mother of the groom starts taking over the wedding, and commandeering the bride around, whether the groom stands up for his wife, and gives her the space to be an equal partner in the relationship, is a big telltale sign of how the rest of the relationship will develop," Johansson says.
There's nothing that can guarantee that your relationship or marriage will last, but there are some signs that could tell you that it might. The way that you treat one another throughout the wedding planning process and on your wedding day can be powerful indicators of whether or not your marriage will last a lifetime.