Just about everyone wants to think that when they find the one they're meant to be with, they'll be loved unconditionally. You might hope for unconditional love in your family relationships or friendships as well. Unconditional love gives you the ability to be the flawed human being that you are, without having to worry that those closest to you will run away and abandon you. It lets you be you, not the you that you think someone wants you to be, but the real you. Looking out for some of the signs your partner doesn't love you unconditionally can tell you if you have that kind of love in your relationship or not, but, honestly, in real life, the concept of unconditional love is sort of a tricky one.
"Every human unfortunately has boundaries that you can’t cross," Allen Wagner, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Romper in an email exchange. "There are estranged parents, children, siblings and best friends. Human beings who truly love one another can feel betrayed when certain lines are crossed. The best thing we can do is educate the people we love as to what these lines are."
If you don't feel as though your partner loves you unconditionally or you think you see signs that they might not, you can't just assume that your partner will understand how you're feeling.
"If you don’t feel loved unconditionally by your partner, you have to fight to make that problem known," Dr. Claudia Luiz, PsyaD, a psychoanalyst, tells Romper in an email exchange. "Some people get divorced, stop talking to their parents, or become a strange from family and friends as a way to handle feeling unloved. But I preferred to see people stay in the ring, to get out, and egg their way up to unacceptable deep connection."
It's difficult to face, but knowing which signs might mean that your partner's love isn't unconditional might, in a way, help you work through these things and come out stronger on the other side or realize that you two might not actually belong together after all.