No one likes to be embarrassed. Even if you trip and fall in front of a group of complete strangers, you're still probably going to feel your cheeks flush red. The cringe factor only seems to increase when you're around people whose opinions you actually care about. Though bumping someone on the sidewalk is small potatoes in the realm of embarrassment, doing something that makes your friend pretend not to know you can be devastating. But what about humiliating moments that occur with your partner? What are some signs your spouse is embarrassed by you?
It's completely normal for you to be grossed out by your partner's lack of bathroom etiquette after Burrito Night, and it's totally understandable if your partner can't help but raise an eyebrow at some of your dance moves. But the key element here is that these are all situations which can be laughed about by both parties afterwards. If your partner is actually acting ashamed of you, that's not only damaging to your relationship, but to your sense of self-worth, as well.
So how do you know when your partner is just being cheeky with some flirtatious teasing and when it's crossed into the embarrassment zone? Check out some of these common signs below and see if any of them raise a red flag for you.
1. They Keep You Out Of Their Social Circle
Dr. Debby Herbenick, an associate research scientist and co-director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, wrote on Psychology Today that it can actually be very healthy for a couple to have separate friends or activities and that not everything has to be a shared experience. However, if you notice that your spouse has never introduced you to his close friends and family or you're invited to participate as much as you once were, then this could be a red flag that your spouse feels embarrassed by you.
2. They Avoid Potentially Awkward Situations
If you think that the joke you tell at your office party kills, but your partner doesn't and tries to steer you away from any opportunities where you would share your witty quip, they might be embarrassed by you. "Fear of embarrassment causes people to behave in really irrational ways," Dr. Christine Harris, a psychologist at the University of California, told the American Psychological Association. In a way, your partner could be more afraid of being embarrassed themselves and in turn is ashamed of you because they feel it has the potential to bring them social humiliation.
3. They Refuse To Make It "Facebook Official"
It's hard to remember what life was like before social networking, isn't it? Well unless The Walking Dead becomes a reality, the Internet isn't going anywhere and how your relationship is viewed online says a lot about its integrity in real life. So if your spouse doesn't list themselves as "married" or :in a relationship," or you've even noticed that his life on social media looks nothing like how you see it on a daily basis, something might be a bit off. Embarrassment might be the reason he's keeping a low-profile online.
4. They "Ghost" Out On You
When somebody is "ghosting" you, it means that there was no confrontation or communication, yet the other person seems to have dropped off the face of the planet sans explanation. It can leave the person who's been ghosted feeling slighted and confused. But ghosting isn't always a permanent thing where a person disappears forever. Your partner could be embarrassed by you if they continually seem to pop in and out of communication with you for varying lengths of time without ever providing a legitimate reason.
5. You The Punchline
Playful teasing is one thing. It can also be a bit of an ego boost when your partner tells you how awful their exes were and how unlike them you are. But when you combine the two, it can be a dangerous mix. Dr. Stephanie Sarkis told Psychology Today that these could all be signs your partner is a narcissist and they see you as an embarrassment to themselves. The key factor with narcissists is that they believe they are the sh*t, so clearly, how could you possibly compare in their mind?
6. They Clam Up
Where narcissists might actively go out of their way to make you feel bad for embarrassing them (in their opinion),the other end of the spectrum can be just as damaging. "Abstaining from having a conversation or dismissing your feelings is not a good sign when you want to address a shift you’ve sensed in the relationship," Sex educator Danielle Sepulveres told Bustle. So if they're tight-lipped whenever you ask them if you are embarrassing them, they might not want to tell you the answer is "yes."
7. There's No Warmth
If it feels like someone turned down the heat in your relationship, it might not have to do with the typical "cooling off" scenarios like a loss of libido or frequent arguments. There's a solid chance that the lack of PDA you receive when you're out is due to the fact that your partner is embarrassed by you. "You feel lonely when you're together," Researcher and author Dr. Alice Boyes wrote on Psychology Today. "There is an absence of affection in your relationship in public." Not only are those unhealthy aspects of a relationship, but it implies your partner is embarrassed by you and is trying to create a literal, physical distance from you.
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