Every couple has gone through a rocky period — that time when every argument turns into a battle and you question whether either of you are still in love. Maybe it only lasted a few days, or you are still in the middle of it. At times you may feel as though you are the furthest thing from your spouse's mind. But, if you are lucky, things have started to turn around, and you are beginning to notice signs that your spouse is falling back in love with you.
Putting the pieces back together after a big falling out is no easy task. There are hurt feelings, and maybe even some trust issues. There can be a fair amount of bitterness lingering, as well. Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical psychologist and blogger for Huffington Post warns that "bitterness is something that kills not just a relationship, but the soul of the person who feels it." Letting go of resentment is the first step in working things out, and Rutherford adds, "forgiveness is essential in a long-term relationship."
If you want to make things work, and you believe your spouse does, as well, it's never too late. Watch carefully and see if your partner is showing signs that they are falling back in love, too.
1. They Really Listen
A partner who is falling back in love with you wants to hear everything you have to say. They look into your eyes, pay attention to detail, and commit those details to memory. Psychology Today reported that research on love and attraction has found that a mutual gaze is a good predictor of two people being in love.
2. They Ask For Date Nights
It's not just about going to grab dinner and a movie, either. “Doing something new and different together enhances your sense of intimacy," Fritz Galette, a family therapist told Huffington Post. Doing something that is new to both of you is also a good way to make new memories.
3. They Want To Touch You
You know your spouse is falling back in love if they make it a point to touch you. Not the kind of touching that says, "I want to have sex," but the gentle kind that says "I want to be close to you." Hugging, holding hands, putting an arm around your shoulder are all good signs. "Touch plays a crucial role in generating and enhancing love," Aaron Ben-Zeév, professor of philosophy at the University of Haifa wrote in Psychology Today. "People feel more satisfied in a relationship in which physical affection is a significant part."
4. They Are Kind
It's easy to be quick tempered or sarcastic when you don't care what another person thinks of you. A partner who is falling back in love will be kind and gentle. James Córdova, chair of Clark University’s psychology department and head of Clark’s Center for Couples & Family Research, told Huffington Post that being intentionally kind produces a happier marriage.
5. They Compliment You
In ways that they may have taken you for granted in the past, a spouse who is falling back in love with you will make sure to point out all of the things that they love and appreciate about you.
6. They Bring Up Good Memories
When a person is falling back in love with their spouse, they will often bring up the happier times in their relationship. Redbook suggests that "taking the time to relive the earliest days of your courtship can help revive those falling-in-love feelings."
7. They Plan For The Future
If your partner wants to plan a romantic trip to Hawaii for your next anniversary, or is finally ready to start a family, it's a sign that they see you in their future. Spouses who are no longer in love or plan to leave, are hesitant to make far off plans.