If you're anything like me, your partner could be holding a giant sign with the words, "I'm totally into you," on it and you'd still question where things stood in your relationship. Believe it or not, just because my husband put a ring on it doesn't mean I know that he likes it, to quote the infinite wisdom of Beyoncé. Marriage doesn't automatically erase insecurities or guarantee your shared flame won't fizzle, which is why it's normal to wonder if there are some concrete signs your spouse is still attracted to you.
Regardless of how long you and your spouse have been together, it's always nice to get a little reassurance that your significant other still finds you fascinating and alluring. And since crystal balls and telepathy exist solely in the realm of science fiction (or do they?), any kind of insight you can gain as to what is going on in your lover's mind is invaluable. I learned the hard way that staring intently at your spouse isn't the best way to figure out if they're still interested in you. So if you're feeling a bit curious, check out these signs that your partner is still attracted to you.
1. Their Blood Gets Pumping
The next time you lean in for a hug, press your ear to their chest and see if you can hear their heartbeat. If it sounds like the Energizer Bunny is breakdancing in there, that's a good indication that you're the one responsible for those passionate palpitations. Dr. Reginald Ho, a cardiac electrophysiologist, told CNN that when a person is around someone they're attracted to, their "heart starts racing, that's because of an adrenaline rush. The brain sends signals to the adrenal gland, which secretes adrenaline, and causes the heart to beat faster and stronger."
2. They Laugh with You
In a relationship, especially a long-term one like marriage, being able to laugh with each other is definitely healthy. According to a study published in The Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin conducted by Dr. Normal Li, he surmised that if you are able to make your partner laugh and they still find you funny, your partner is still attracted to you.
3. They Wait For You
This is a subtle sign, but if you notice that your spouse hangs back so that you can catch up or they make a point to keep the same walking pace as you, there's a good reason for that. Researchers from Seattle Pacific University published their findings in the Public Library of Science, which stated, "males walk at a significantly slower pace to match their romantic partner. The paces of friends of either same or mixed sex walking together did not significantly change. Thus significant pace adjustment appears to be limited to romantic partners." So if your partner slows down to walk with you, romantic feelings are definitely still there.
4. They Mirror You
No matter what someone verbally says, their body language can be saying something entirely different. So even if you've been feeling like your significant other isn't as into you as they used to be, just take a look at their non-verbal cues to get the truth. Relationship expert Lisa Daily told The Huffington Post that, "our bodies line up when we’re in love (heart to heart, face to face) and the feet are one of the first places you'll see it." If your spouse angles their body towards you or their feet are pointed in your direction, the attraction hasn't faded.
5. They Look At You — A Lot
This can easily be overlooked, but a good indicator that your spouse is still attracted to you is that they continue to make and maintain eye contact with you. It sort of sounds like something everyone does, right? Turns out it's not, though. According to Scientific American, "people whose survey showed a stronger connection of love also held eye contact for longer periods of time than those who had a weaker connection of love."
6. They Made Your Relationship Facebook Official
Though some may laugh the term off, the way you and your partner interact online could actually speak volumes about your relationship. Dr. Gwendolyn Seidman shared her findings on Albright College's news publication where she noted, "those satisfied with their relationship are more likely to use Facebook to post couple photos and details of their relationship, as well as affectionate comments on their partner’s wall."
7. Your Similarities Grow Stronger
Whether it's picking a friend or a partner, people tend to pair up with others who share similar viewpoints or beliefs about life. Dr. Eva C. Klohnen and Dr Shanhong Luo shared their findings in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that not only do married couples with similar dispositions and values have stronger, longer relationships, but partners who nurture those similar qualities do so because they are still attracted to and invested in their spouse.