As any mom will tell you, finding the perfect mom friend is a little like falling in love. There is the initial interaction when you think to yourself, "she looks cool, we could hang out." Then, after gathering the courage to give her your number, you two meet up for a playdate in the park — with your little ones, of course, let's not make this awkward.
But much like dating, not all mom friends are a good match. Usually the bad ones reveal themselves quickly and you can move on before anyone gets too attached. But once you have kissed a few frogs, your mom in shining yoga pants will eventually appear.
You never know when she will come into your life. Your post baby bestie may be the woman you randomly sit next to at a Mommy and Me music class, or she could be the mother of your child's BFFL from daycare. If any of these seven feelings sound familiar, then chances are you've met that special someone and finally found your new post-baby best friend.
1. She Has A Child The Same Age As Yours
Being friends with amom whose child is collision age to yours is a huge bonus. Typically, kids of similar ages tend to keep similar schedules. If both you and your friend have toddler-aged daughters, chances are they will be waking, playing. and napping around the same time each day. Working in the same timeframe makes planning outings and play dates much more possible.
Since your little ones are close in age, and added advantage may be that they will be interested in the same activities. This gives you and your friend more excuses to spend time together (as if you needed any.)
2. She Has Realistic Expectations
I decided long ago, that I could not be friends with someone who expects my house (or me) to always be clean. It's just not something I have the time or energy to keep up with. My best mom friends do not grimace when they have to move a load of laundry to find a seat on my couch, nor do they comment about the coloring supplies that litter my kitchen floor.
You know why these ladies don't mind this craptastic mess? Because the same thing is going down at their house. They sigh with relief at seeing my home in disarray, knowing that when they have me over, there is no pressure to bust their butt to clean.
3. She's OK With You Ugly Crying Around Her
Motherhood can drain you down to the point where you have a toddler-like meltdown. A good friend will be by your side, wiping your snotty nose and listening as you vent. Then, after it becomes too difficult to keep your puffy eyes open, she will offer your the largest glass of wine she can find.
4. She Talks About Things Others Than Parenting and Kids
Talking about your kids with other parents — or anyone for that matter — can be difficult to avoid. You want to share stories about your children's achievements, but after you have glossed over the highlights, it's time to move onto some other topics. Because, after all, your interest span beyond your child. The topics don't need to be newsworthy or high literary — hell, they don't even have to make sense — they just need to be a departure from mama life.
5. She Understands Your Silence
There is a special form of mind reading that emerges after a friendship has had time to marinate. You're able to send your friend a glance that says, "Did you see that?" And she sends you one right back that says, "Yeah. Can you believe it?" This type of communicating is usually followed by uncontrollable giggling, which no one else will understand.
6. She Makes You Laugh. . . A Lot
Friendship is a deep and meaningful experience, but it isn't just about serious conversations and aha moments. It's about the silly stuff that makes you laugh. Even an elevator ride can become a hysterical memory when you are with your best friend.
7. She's Gives The Best Advice
You'll know you've found your best mom friend when she has moved to the favorites list on your phone. This woman is the one you call when your baby won't sleep after you've tried everything or your son won't stop crying at the drop off. Even if she hasn't been through what you're experiencing, in some way she can relate.
This woman knows how hard it is to be a mom and she is always there to give you advice, even if that advice is to pull into the nearest bar and order a stiff drink. Usually, just hearing her voice and knowing you are loved is enough to make you forget your troubles.