Even if you're blessed with the patience of a saint, your children probably know how to tip the scales just enough to set you off. Since parents are responsible for teaching their kids how to be decent humans and correcting their less than ideal behavior, sometimes anger is the natural response when you've said no to the same thing 1,837 times with no response from your kid. When it isn't properly handled, however, parental anger can have negative consequences on children as they grow. Luckily, learning a few small, effective ways to handle "mom anger" can serve you well whether you're dealing with the terrible twos or rebellious teens.
According to Healthline, a parent's anger can have long term effects on a child. If anger is left unchecked, it can lead to the inability for parents and their children to communicate effectively. Conversely, the article stated, remaining calm and learning to handle your anger makes your child feel loved despite their bad behavior and will always yield better results.
Staying calm is easier said than done. But if you're equipped with ways to handle angry outbursts, you'll slowly replace bad habits with healthy ones that will be beneficial for both you and your children. Here are a few tips to get your started.
According to Psychology Today, simply stepping back before you react is the most effective way to handle a situation where your kids are acting less than ideal. Instead of lashing out at them right away, try literally counting t 10 or stepping out of the room to collect your thoughts and then approach them calming with the solution or consequence.
2Find A Healthy Perspective
Before you react out of anger, ask yourself "is this situation an emergency?" and "what is a rational way to respond to this?" An article from the Dr. Sears website noted that keeping a healthy perspective about the issue at hand (even if it is the 100th time they've spilled their juice today,) will help you minimize the anger.
3Deal With Anger Before It Happens
Do you get angry a lot? The aforementioned Psychology Today piece suggested having a plan of action before you even get angry. Determine that you'll calmly intervene before you yell, or that you'll speak to your children on their level before you shout from above them.
4Talk To Someone
Real Simple noted that one of the most effective ways to deal with anger without letting it hurt someone else is to just vent about your frustration to someone not involved in the scenario. Bring in your partner for back-up or call your fellow mom friends who can relate and talk you down if need be.
5Take Deep Breaths
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), doing deep breathing exercises or other relaxation techniques can literally calm you down within seconds. If you struggle to keep your cool, try inhaling deeply from your diaphragm, using your stomach to push in and out, not only your chest.
6Try The "Hair Tie Technique"
One mom recently went viral for a "keep it cool" technique that uses only five hair ties. According to Refinery 29, she started her day with five hair ties on one wrist. Every time she yelled or reacted too strongly to her children, she moved a hair tie over to the other side. To move the ties back, she had to respond with a loving and calm gesture towards her kids. Her goal, at the end of the day, was to have all of her hair ties on the wrist she started them on at the beginning of the day.
This technique is especially effective because it uses physical reminders to create healthy new habits.
7Put Yourself In Timeout
If all else fails and you can feel an adult-sized temper tantrum coming, explain to your kids that mommy needs her own time out and simply leave the room for a few minutes. Lock yourself in your bathroom with a cup of coffee until you're ready to come out and calmly address the situation.
As long as no one is in danger and the situation isn't an emergency, leaving the room will only increase your chances of staying calm.