It’s ironic that the thing that got some of us into the situation of creating a newborn is the also one thing that’s furthest from our minds once we actually have a newborn, but alas, that's how it goes. No matter how a baby was conceived nor how it was born, its parents will probably see a... dip, in their sex drive. For example, I can’t recall any instance in roughly the first three months of my son’s life when I thought sex seemed like a good idea. I love my husband, and cherish our sexy time, but (and you knew there was a but coming) it just was not in the cards for us for a while: I needed time to physically heal, which my extra-rad partner was unwaveringly supportive of, and by the time that was done, we were both so worn out and preoccupied with the infantile task-at-hand that it seemed like a far greater act of intimacy to simply collapse into bed beside each other and sleep.
Don't worry, though: We still did all the other super romantic things all the other new parents enjoy doing in their ample free time like, oh you know, taking long leisurely walks while holding hands, reading each other classic love poems, and sipping coffee slowly whilst gazing into each other's well-rested, non-bloodshot eyes. *Eyeroll*
In all the time we weren’t having sex, my partner and I were tending to a newborn and trying (with low to medium amount of success) to take care of ourselves in the form of irregular naps and occasional showers (not together, sadly). And the thing is — and the thing so many childless people get wrong when they contemplate the stereotypical new-parent sexlessness (which, by the way, does not even hold true for all couples) — we weren't, like, depressed about not having sex. It wasn't a cause of tension. It wasn't, really, a big deal at all. Again, all of this is going to be so hyper-specific to each individual couple, but in my husband's and my case, we were on the same page: There are always, in any long-term relationship, periods of high sexual activity and then there are lulls. Having a new baby and being totally exhausted? Yeah, seemed like a pretty damn good time to embrace the lull.
Here’s the thought process we went through as we discovered the realities of realizing that snoozing was important than canoodlng: