My partner and I are emotionally opposite of one another. While I tend to "shoot from the hip" (his words, not mine) when emotions run high, he'd sooner change the subject or forget there's an argument completely. Needless to say, we've had a difficult time meeting in the middle to solve any problems. Of the struggles every mom with a passive parenting partner just knows, making flexibility a priority is high on the list. Still, without compromise, dealing with a passive partner will remain a struggle, so it's best to stick with it. Trust me.
When I met my partner, I knew our personalities would compliment each other (because opposites do attract), but I didn't think about how those same personalities would eventually clash in the future. While I tend to be passive aggressive at times, I'm also great at letting things silently accumulate until they erupt out of me. Those eruptions, unfortunately, are usually directed at my husband. His response, not surprisingly, isn't to erupt back, but to shut down completely. We've struggled greatly with finding better ways to express our feelings but because our responses are so ingrained from childhood, it's a constant, uphill battle.
As willing, hopeful parents, this confrontation and communication issue is more pronounced. When dealing with our kids together, we don't always agree on how to handle some situations. Where he might say, "Whatever you want to do," I'll get frustrated and scream out, "I want you to decide," and we end up nowhere. We're working on it, but it's a tedious journey. Here are some of the struggles that just come with having a passive partner: