I had no idea what a "silky" mom was until recently but, apparently, I am one. If you're not familiar, a "silky" mom is the opposite of a "crunchy" mom. That probably doesn't clear things up much, does it? So many different mom types, so little time. Of the things all silky moms should say to the haters, the most important is that being a silky mom isn't an insult, but rather, a compliment. I can almost hear the haters chiming in as I type this, but here's the thing: there's no one way to parent, and that's cool, though I do have beef with the continual separation of moms (by type, career choice, parenting styles, etc.), because we're all struggling to raise children as it is. Do we really need further judgments or labels to separate us further?
Now that we're on the same page, the basic definition of being a "silky" mom is one who's more into all things modern, medicine, and they/we usually defer to sound professional advice (as opposed to "crunchy" moms who go the natural route). Silky moms are those more likely to choose bottle over breast, disposable diapers over reusable, and (typically), convenience over things that may take more time. I definitely fit into this category, though it didn't start out that way.
After the birth of both children, I had all the intentions in the world to lean more towards the "crunchy" side of things. As life would have it, I started to become overwhelmed by making baby food from scratch (amongst other things) and, eventually, it only made me feel like a huge failure. It just wasn't in me to continue on this path, so I crossed over so the silky side and, I think, my children and I are better for it. I say, there' no shame in labeling yourself as a silky, crunchy, or scrunchy mom stereotype because, at the core, we're all doing what we think is best, right? If you're feeling what I'm feeling, here are things all silky moms should say to the haters, without apology. #noshame
"If I Want An Epidural, That's My Business"
I went into my birthing plan with intentions of taking the "natural" route. Apparently, childbirth hurts a lot, and I wasn't remotely prepared for how weak I'd feel in the moment. I get the arguments of choosing to forgo traditional medicines that could potentially cause harm to the unborn baby, but just giving birth is a dangerous feat. Medicines exist to make things, such as giving birth, bearable. It's a traumatic thing to go through whether, you're an epidural mom, a natural mom, or a c-section mom. A long as our babies get here and are healthy, can't we leave it at that?
To me, all mothers are strong as hell whether they're crunchy, silky, scrunchy, or any other new label.
"Children Can Thrive On Food That's Not Homemade"
I attempted to steam vegetables, freeze fruit, and prep a week's worth of baby foods in the beginning of my mom life. Then my work suffered and other chores stacked up. Plus, after the birth of my son, m 5-year-old daughter needed my attention, too.
It's wonderful, if you have the desire to make all the food from scratch, and you have the time to do so (and don't resent the time it takes to complete). However, I am a modern mom with a career and a whole list of things that need done in a day. If my babies had to eat food not prepped by my careful hands, it's really OK. There's tons of healthy choices available in the store (plus the occasional take out) and my kids are just fine all these years later.
"My Kid Will Survive Life With Disposable Diapers Just Fine"
While I do often think about my contribution to the pollution of our earth when I use disposable diapers, I can also say they're convenient and have suited our lifestyle. I tried reusable cloth diapers for awhile and, I'm sorry but, I hated everything about it. It's disgusting and all the washing takes up time I didn't have to spare. Props to all those who use them and swear by them (and double props for being pollution-free while you do it), but it's not for everyone. Especially not me.
"Sleep Training Is A Practical Tool For Real Life"
I appreciate parents who co-sleep with their children, and I so wish I could be part of your group. However, I'm not. While there were times my husband and I shared our bed with a child, we spent a lot of time training them to sleep in their own beds for everyone's sake. Even if co-sleeping doesn't really affect children later in life, it's not something I'm comfortable with. I suffer from chronic insomnia and cherish any bit of sleep I can get — preferably, child-free. The bottom line is, we all sleep. Does it matter if it's together or a apart?
"Breastfeeding Isn't For Everyone, So Stop Judging"
Despite my intense anxiety and postpartum depression (PPD), I gave breastfeeding my everything. Even when my baby wouldn't latch, when my milk refused to come in, and when the lactation consultant had no more advice, I tried. I cried through it, but I tried. Again and again.
So, honestly, I shouldn't have to defend my choice to turn to the bottle when breastfeeding aggravated my anxiety and got in the way of bonding with my baby. I did what I had to do for us to make it through. Whether you're silky or crunchy, it shouldn't matter as long as your baby is fed.
"I'm Doing The Best I Can"
The judgements and criticisms over what silky moms are doing compared to crunchy moms (or vice versa), create a parental insecurity that's just plain unnecessary. Whatever my intentions were with my children, they were mine. I have the right, as their mother, to make decisions I believe to be in their best interest, and owe no explanations or apologies (unless it directly hurts my children) to anyone about those decisions. Every other mom, silky or otherwise, has the same rights. Basically, we're doing the best we possibly can. Can I get an Amen?
"Enough With The Labels Already"
Seriously. In putting me in a "silky" mom group, and other well-intentioned moms into the "crunchy" group, the divide grows that much more difficult to erase. Why do we have to slap on any label? Aren't we all just moms who love our children? No matter what decisions you make, forget the haters and just do you. I know I am.