I love sleep. The problem is, because of anxiety, I've become an insufferable insomniac with a pretty rigid schedule of events created to help me actually get to sleep. My kids don't understand the importance of sleep and how it affects their growing bodies and brains, so getting them to sleep is no picnic, either. As a result, there's a lot of things I wish my partner said to me when we struggled sleep training our babies, so at the very least I wasn't spending my time constantly frustrated.
As new parents, sleep training our daughter was a whole new world. We'd read all the baby books and even took prenatal classes but, in the end, it was between us and our baby. At the time, I was struggling with postpartum depression (PPD), and my daughter struggled to get and stay on a schedule that benefited us both. After a lot of failed routines, we landed on a relaxing bath, tight swaddle, and calming rock while we fed. My partner and I were pretty thrilled when it started working nearly every time. It was amazing to realize we were regularly enjoying a full night's sleep, until my daughter decided to change the plan.
Turns out, sleep regressions are inevitable. Whether it was because she started to outgrow her swaddle (ours started to break free from hers), she didn't feel the same effects from the bath, rock, and feed schedule as she did in her younger weeks, or because her brain is busier (and therefore takes longer to settle or causes her to wake more times through the night), it was frustrating. No one slept through the night anymore. It certainly didn't help me heal from my postpartum depression and, honestly, probably prolonged that healing. Although all of this was a natural part of our baby growing and maturing as her needs changed, maybe I'd have felt better about the lack of sleep if my partner said some of the following things: