Life
There’s nothing quite like being forced to socialize against your will, especially if (like me) you suffer from social anxiety. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happens when you have kids. There will be a seemingly endless amount of times when your child will force you to be social, probably when you absolutely do not want to, and because you want to do right by them and their non-anxiety having asses, you'll do your best to be around other human beings. Ugh, sometimes kids are the worst.
I guess it comes with the motherhood territory. After all, kids solicit a lot of attention, what their cute faces and funny walks and adorable little voices. While I appreciate the run-of-the-mill comment and the grandparents and other mothers and older kids stopping to talk to me about my kid's demeanor or how adorable my kid looks in that super-cute outfit I just purchased, I usually just want to be back at home and away from the world, the conversations are, well, a pain. Sometimes, you just don't want to be social but, when you have a kid, that want doesn't necessarily get met.
Like it or not, having a baby comes with all kinds of unwelcome social interactions. You will be forced to socialize against your will on a daily basis, so you might as well go ahead and brush up on your small talk skills beforehand, and begin to covet the moments when you were able to slip in and out of society without anyone so much as noticing. Man, those were the days...
The Need To Purchase Groceries
Your days of buying bananas in peace are far behind you. Now, that purchase comes with an aisle full of talkative coupon clippers, curious elderly women, and an easily distracted cashier that wants to play peek-a-boo with your baby. Yes it can be adorable and even heartwarming but when you have Netflix waiting for you at home, it can also be a time-suck you want no part of.
The Friendships They'll Inevitably Have
Your child’s playmates come with baggage, and by "baggage" I mean birthdays. A lot of birthdays. Depending on the sociability of your offspring you will be invited to a substantial amount of birthday parties every year for the rest of your natural life (or, at least, until your kid leaves your home). Sure, the random birthday party can be fun and it's not the worst thing in the world to socialize with other parents (if you know them) but, let's be honest, a kid's birthday party can also be the seventh circle of hell.
All The Doctor's Visits You Have To Take Your Kid To
As if needles and judgment from your child’s physician weren’t enough, now you have to sit in a waiting room full of other parents. Doctors pretty typically run behind schedule, which means the waiting room is packed and you'll definitely have to pass the time by making small talk with someone else who (probably) is just as annoyed as you are.
When They Want To Go To The Park/Outside
It's not that I mind my kid being outside; on the contrary, I love that my kid can go to a park and run around and be "free" and enjoy being around other children who want to be just as "free." However, going ot the park also means socializing with a bunch of strangers who have been dragged into the outdoors so that their kids can get some fresh air, too. It might even mean engaging in some "park politics" which, if you're not a parent, make our actual political climate seem somewhat tame.
When/If Daycare Becomes A Thing
Typically, children are dropped off at daycares and preschools at the same time, which means you're not the only parent saying goodbye to their offspring. So, even if you haven't showered and there are still coffee stains on your pajama pants, you might find yourself interacting with another parent as you collectively say goodbye and good day to your kids. Ugh, it's the worst.
Play Dates Because, Again, Your Kid Will Have Friends
Honestly, let's just go ahead and say that when your kid starts making friends, you're going to be forced to start making friends. To be fair, this can sometimes be the best. I have made some wonderful friends because I met them through our respective kids. However, when you don't necessarily get along with your kid's friend's parents, this can also be the absolute worst.
Every Single Holiday You've Ever Heard Of
Having a baby during any holiday means that your child will almost indefinitely serve as the entertainment at all functions. The good news is that your family finds your kid endlessly entertaining and adorable. The bad news is that you are inevitably part of your spawn's circus act and will be forced to converse with everyone.
Whether it’s with family or at a school party, you’re comfort zone will be invaded by multiple conversations you aren't entirely too excited about having. My advice? Bring wine.
