If you want to have sex standing up and actually enjoy the experience, you should know it is possible. (Really.) There are some simple tricks to master standing sex, so your real life can be almost as steamy as your favorite film. It’s also a simple way to reduce your risk of injury, which is always hot.
Really, don’t feel frustrated if standing sex has you baffled, because even sex experts admit it’s something of an advanced position. “Sex standing up can be pretty hot. But it can sometimes be difficult to sustain especially if it lasts a while,” Dr. Rachel Needle, licensed psychologist in West Palm Beach, Florida and Co-Director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, tells Romper via email. It’s probably going to take a few attempts before finding the right fit for both you and your partner. “Just because you are ‘getting it in’ in the idealized position does not mean it is a momentous success but instead a checked box, at best,” Dr. Ashley Grinonneau-Denton, Ph.D., Co-Director of the Ohio Center for Relationship & Sexual Health, tells Romper via email. “I emphasize the importance of changing positions and experimenting with the same position in order to create optimal pleasure.” With that in mind, here are a few tips you can try out to make standing sex better than ever.
1. Lean Against A Wall
This is how it's done in the movies, right? Standing straight against a wall, then wrapping one leg around your partner, is one way to approach standing sex, according to Cosmopolitan. With the wall as a brace, you have a perfect stabilizer ready at all times.
2. Use Oral
Take an open-minded approach to sex. “Sex standing up doesn’t have to just be about penetration. Oral sex standing up can be hot too!” says Dr. Needle. Plus, it’s generally easier to keep your balance when one partner is lower to the ground anyway.
3. Get The Angle Right
Work together to find the right fit. “All bodies are constructed differently. Because of this, it is important for couples who are engaging in any sexual position, standing or otherwise, to make sure that they experiment with angling that is most comfortable and pleasurably for each partner,” says Dr. Grinonneau-Denton. Maybe just going for more of a 45 degree angle, instead of a strictly vertical connection, can make all the difference.
4. Use The Kitchen Counter
The kitchen isn't just for cooking. In fact, "sitting up on the kitchen counter will give you great balance and control," as passionate living coach Abiola Abrams wrote in Essence. It's all of the fun of standing sex with almost none of the work.
5. Try Props
Consider using some props to help get that angle right. “Step stools and assorted pillows can also be general household accoutrements that can help to make the right adjustments that allows sex in any position to be more enjoyable for all involved,” says Dr. Grinonneau-Denton. You may never look at those throw pillows quite the same way again.
6. Brace Yourself
The right footing can make all the difference. “Leaning over something or putting your foot up can be helpful so you don’t become weak in the knees,” says Dr. Needle. Just make sure your foothold is pretty stable.
7. Consider The Closet
The smallest room in your house is possibly the best one for this kind of experimentation. “In the closet standing up – one bent over at the waist in front. You can even try lifting one leg for deeper penetration,” says Dr. Needle. Depending on the setup of your closet, everyone has a wall nearby to assist with balance.
Most of all, just enjoy the process of experimenting with different sex positions. “Don’t force it,” says Dr. Needle. “Have fun with your partner and be open to trying new things!” That’s an excellent attitude to take when approaching any sexy new adventure.
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