It's probably not a huge surprise that the relationships with which you grew up can have an affect on your later romantic relationships. And while you've likely heard many couples praise their parents for all of the relationship lessons they bestowed over the years, for people whose relationships with their parents are far more strained, even toxic, that affect can be quite different. There are a number of ways having a toxic mom causes problems in your romantic relationships later on down the line. And if your mom is toxic, you may want to know how growing up with this kind of parent might influence other parts of your life, outside of just the relationship that you have (or don't have) with her.
"We cannot change the fact that our mom may have been (or may continue to be) toxic," Celeste Viciere, LMHC, a licensed mental health clinician at The Uniting Center, tells Romper by email. "Sometimes we just end up being angry about the fact that we did not have a mom like everyone else. When we do this, we are fighting reality, and end up stuck in our past. In order to heal from your toxic relationship, it's important to work on understanding how you were affected. Understanding your triggers and emotions around your past can help you work on recreating your future. Therapy and journaling are two methods that can help you begin to unwind these complex emotions and situations."
If you grew up with or still have a toxic mom, recognizing these effects in your romantic relationships can perhaps help provide some perspective for what happened in past relationships or help you address them in your current relationship, hopefully allowing the two of you to move forward together.