There's an old saying that opposites attract. That may be true, and even a positive thing, for some. But for others, being drawn to someone so different than you may not be a good thing especially if involves the way you treat each other. It's no surprise, then, that you might find yourself wondering if there are ways to know you're too good for your partner. Sure, there are obvious signs that you're with the wrong person, like they're engaging in illegal activity or they don't like chocolate (crazy, right?), but there a plenty of little, subtle clues that turn into a giant red flag when you put them all together.
The last thing you want to do is compile the puzzle pieces after you've invested multiple years into a now defunct relationship. That's why it's always a good idea to keep your eyes peeled and be on the lookout for relationship red flags. I'm not suggesting that you never let your guard down or that you must always be suspicious of your partner. Trusting your significant other is a beautiful thing, and that's precisely why it's so important to know if you are, in fact, too good for your partner before you're in over your head.
1. You're Constantly Second-Guessing Yourself
According to a study from Bentley University, if your significant other causes you to "question your thoughts, feelings, or decisions, leaving you feeling guilty, confused, or at fault for conflicts," this could be emotional abuse and an imbalanced relationship. Whether you've become less confident in simple things like your fashion choices or in more major areas like life decisions, it might be a sign you're too good for your partner.
2. You've Only Got One Thing Going For You
Psychologist Alice Boyles wrote in Psychology Today that you may be too good for your partner if they only value you for one thing, whether it be sex, your looks, or your ability to earn money." In a healthy relationship, your SO sees you as the whole package and is with you for more than just one reason.
3. You're Yearning For Touch
Though relationships aren't completely centered on sex or affection, if you feel like you're never on the receiving end or that you're always the one to instigate, you could be too good for your boyfriend or girlfriend. "The true indicator of a healthy relationship is not how often your partner touches you," Melissa Cohen, a couples therapist, told Prevention magazine. "But how often he or she touches you in response to your touch." So if you're not feeling the love, it may be time to realize you deserve it.
4. You Don't Share Responsibilities
It can be as simple as who takes out the trash the most to who bears the brunt of the emotional burdens in your relationship, but equality matters. If you find that you're the one to whom everything seems to fall, that's a red flag. According to the Marriage and Family Institute, healthy relationship equality is when "both parties have and express desires, are active and empowered, and is characterized by mutual respect." So it stands to reason that if you're experiencing the opposite of this, then you're probably too good for your SO.
5. You're Constantly Given Ultimatums
Sometimes setting standards or drawing a line in the sand is a necessary thing. It can let you and your partner know what kind of behavior is expected or won't be tolerated. But Jill Weber, a licensed clinical psychologist, told Women's Health magazine that ultimatums are rarely a healthy strategy in a relationship. Forcing your hand in a situation could be a way your partner is trying to exert control over you because they know you're out of their league.
6. You Rarely Say "No"
It's not always a bad trait to be a people pleaser or to want those around you to be happy. Yet it's not worth sacrificing your own emotional well-being to never say "no" in your relationship. As Psych Central noted, saying no creates boundaries and "boundaries are essential for any healthy relationship." So if you feel like you're pressured into agreeing to everything, then that's a major relationship no-no.
7. You Don't Feel Included
You have your friends and your partner has his or her friends. It's normal to want a Girls' Night Out or to have a Man Cave. But what about when your partner doesn't want to include you in their circle, or worse, seems embarrassed of you in public? Psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina told Prevention that if one partner doesn't devote time to his or her partner, the relationship is in trouble. So if you feel like your partner is more interested in spending time without you and with co-workers, friends, or even by themselves, then you're definitely too good for them.