It's only natural to wish that you could know for sure if your partner truly takes your relationship seriously and sees the relationship lasting long-term, particularly if you've been hurt this way in relationships in the past. And if your partner has a bit of a history of being wary to commit or limited experience with serious relationships, you might wish that all the more. Though it might be difficult to know absolutely, positively for sure, there certainly are some ways to tell if your partner takes you more seriously than their past relationships. Of course, there's typically not any sort of guarantee, going in, that your relationship will, in fact, work out, but if you recognize some specific signs, you might be able to feel a bit more confident in the relationship between the two of you.
It's often difficult to think about your partner's past relationships, but there were clearly things that happened within or around those relationships that resulted in their failure. And if you've ever had a partner reconnect with an old partner after you broke up or if your partner doesn't have a great track record with serious relationships, the question of whether or not they take you more seriously might loom large. From how they incorporate you into their life to how they react when you're happy, sad, or in need, there are some signs that you're likely different than the rest, if you know where to look for them.
1. They've Introduced You To All Their Friends & Family
If they're serious about you, they're going to work to incorporate you into their life, introducing you to friends and family and encouraging you to get to know the people that are most important to them. Doing these sorts of things indicates that your partner truly wants to make you a part of their every day life, not keep you separated from it. "Your partner does not have the same hesitation, reservations, [or] reluctance to move forward with you like they did with others in past," Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC, a psychotherapist, divorce mediator, and relationship coach, tells Romper by email.
2. They Ask You For Advice About Their Future
If the person you're with doesn't feel like the one you'll be with long-term, you might be more hesitant to ask them for advice about important matters, and the same is likely true for your partner. Not so, however, if they're serious about you. What sorts of subjects might they want you to weigh in on? "Where they want to live in the future, where they are going with their careers, and if they would like to create a family," Rori Sassoon, relationship expert and Platinum Poire CEO, tells Romper by email. They want to know where you stand on these important topics because they think you'll still be around down the road and want you to make decisions together.
3. They Share Their Vulnerabilities
Sharing your vulnerabilities helps your partner get to know you better and vice versa. And it can be scary to do so, even if you think they're the person for you. Though an oversharing of vulnerabilities might mean a lack of boundaries, Dr. Forrest Talley, PhD, a clinical psychologist, tells Romper by email, it also could mean that they're taking you seriously. "This is important because it reflects a growing sense of trust, a crucial element of emotional intimacy," Talley says.
4. They're Happy When You're Happy
Dr. Carolina Castaños, PhD, a marriage and family therapist, says that if your partner is genuinely happy when you're happy, that's another good sign that they take your relationship seriously. You want anyone that you're going to have a future with to be able to celebrate with you. "They want me to be happy, they feel happy when I’m happy, kind of an encouragement to be better, to maybe see things that you don’t see about yourself that can make you better," Castaños says.
5. They Take Interest In Things You Love, Even If It's Not Their Thing
This is beyond those polite questions that you ask when you meet someone, Talley explains. "It is suggestive of a mindset that says, 'If it is important to the person I love, I at least want to be able to share some of that experience,'" Talley adds. You want your partner to at least try to enjoy what you do, rather than simply reluctantly go along with you, leaving you feeling guilty for dragging them somewhere they clearly don't want to be. Though you certainly don't need to love everything the other does or go everywhere together, being there because they love you so much is definitely a sign that things are serious.
6. They Put Your Needs Before Their Own More Often
You and you partner do, of course, need to take care of yourselves, but if you start noticing that they seem to be putting your needs first more often, that could be another sign that they take you super seriously. Talley says that sacrificing what they want to do or what would be more prestigious or exciting to do (you know, better for them) in order to do what they know means a lot to you is the sort of thing that indicates that they're taking you very seriously.
7. They Make An Effort
Castaños says that one of the ways that you know that they're serious about you is that they put forth some effort to spend time with you. She says, for example, they'll travel to see you for the weekend if you two don't live in the same city. Knowing that they genuinely and sincerely want to see you and spend time with you is a definite sign that they're serious about your relationship.
Though it's completely understandable that you'd want to know how you stack up to past relationships, these signs tell you how serious your partner is about you. And when it comes down to it, that's what really matters.
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