Life

7 Ways You're Accidentally Making Your Partner Feel Insecure

by Ni'Kesia Pannell

When it comes to love, you want to be with someone who makes you feel secure in your relationship. You don't want to waste time questioning where you stand with them or even if they love you. There are times, however, when even with all of the love and care provided, there can still be ways you're accidentally making your partner feel insecure.

I have fallen victim to being insecure in a relationship. In my last relationship, for example, my significant other failed to include me in his choices or update me on his life. Pretty weird behavior from someone who supposedly loved me, right? The final straw was when he discussed the classes he was taking for his Masters degree on Facebook, but hadn't even told me that he enrolled into school. That specific incident made my insecurities heighten and caused me to question if he really saw a future with me in it since I barely felt included in his present. I don't think his actions were done purposely, but that didn't make the pain hurt any less.

So, whether you're causing the insecurity or you're experiencing it, here are seven things you should take notice of and correct.

1

You Brag About Your Work Success

According to Women's Health, being insecure about your job is a touchy subject for many people. So, if you have a better job than your spouse, bragging about your work success too much can make them feel even worse.

2

You Place More Emphasis On Your Friendship With Them Than The Relationship

Having a good friendship with your spouse is very important to keeping your relationship in tact, but if you don't separate the two, it can make them feel insecure, according to Cosmopolitan. Things like not showing them enough PDA or appreciating the intimate moments together can all spark insecurities in the relationship.

3

You Never Answer When They Call

Psychology Today noted that insecure people tend to smother loved ones, so something like not answering when they call can initiate those feelings. Whether it's because you're consumed with work or they call at bad times, not answering when they call or texting back soon enough can cause your partner's mind to wander.

4

You Still Walk Around With Baggage

Having a bunch of baggage from the past can be an insecurity trigger for your partner too, according to Lifehack. If you continuously bring up what your ex did to hurt you in the past, your current partner can feel as if they are fighting a losing battle. Try lightening up your load before getting into a relationship.

5

You Don't Express How You Feel About Them Enough

According to Women's Health, insecure people need to be told how other feel about them. Those that deal with insecurities usually cannot rationally view themselves through their own eyes, so reminding them how special they are to you helps.

6

You're Popular On Social Media

According to Cosmopolitan, your partner may be insecure about your social media presence, thinking you'll leave them for someone else. Seeing another person give you massive amounts of attention can cause them to feel like they need to step their game up.

7

You Think Your Life Could Be Better

According to Good Therapy, your partner could grow insecure if you're constantly comparing your life to others. It's easy to notice all the things that could be going better in your life and all the things that your partner could be doing better. Doing this could make them feel as if they aren't good enough. Instead, try appreciating the good things that are happening.