Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they told was necessary, for some reason, and shrugged it off as a lackluster excuse, there might actually be some white lies it's necessary to tell to keep your relationship healthy, even if that initially sounds like a bit of an oxymoron. All lies are not fair game, however. Although there are some white lies that are probably OK for you to tell your partner, they tend to fall under certain categories. You can't just start lying about anything and everything, because lying can also, of course, be detrimental to the health of your relationship.
"I'm not too big on lying to others in a relationship (which is done at times under the guise of a white lie), as it corrodes trust in the other person and does not make us worthy of their loyalty, love or affection," Dr. Vijayeta Sinh, PhD, a licensed psychologist, tells Romper in an email exchange.
And while it can sometimes be difficult to know if something falls under the category of acceptable white lie or off-limits lie, thinking it through can help you determine on which side of the line it falls.
"Honesty is not always the best policy," therapist Dr. Rebekah Montgomery, PhD tells Romper in an email exchange. "Clients are always a little surprised when I say this, but it's true. Sometimes we are honest for selfish reasons rather than altruistic ones. Examining the intention behind your honesty is the most important piece. Ask yourself, 'Am I sharing this with my partner to benefit them or just to make myself feel better?'"
If the answer is the latter, then it might be a situation in which a white lie is actually called for.