8 Common Phrases Every Mom Says To Their Kids, Translated

Ad failed to load

If you’re a mom, chances are you find yourself spouting out all kinds of clichéd phrases you swore you'd never say to your own kids before you became a parent. Sure, you hated it when your mom said things like "clean up that mess" or "because I said so," but now you understand the level of desperation we resort to when we're just trying to get our kids to cooperate. And yes, it’s possible that there might be better ways to convince your kids to behave (I, for one, tend to go to my secret weapon — pizza — to avoid these battles altogether), but it turns out there are some very familiar phrases our own moms said to us as we grew up that have become classics for good reason.

Of course, when you offer up these parenting platitudes to your little one, you’re not necessarily saying exactly what you mean. That’s because these oft-used one-liners are usually a lot less harsh than what you’re actually thinking. Because to be honest, if I said what I was really thinking some of the time, my kids would likely be scarred for life. (Or, you know... for a couple of hours.) One of these days when the tables have turned, they’ll figure out how you really feel, but in the meantime we've partnered with delicious mealtime solution Red Baron Pizza to bring you a few of our favorites, along with their translations:

Ad failed to load

What You Say: “Just Three More Bites!”

Antonieta Esis/Offset

What you mean: “If you don’t actually chew and swallow some solid food very soon I’m legit concerned you’re going to wither away. How many meals am I supposed to cook and throw away in one day? Also, I don’t really know what rickets are, but you’re probably going to get them soon if you don't eat. Here, have some pizza.”

What You Say: “If You Don’t Sleep, You Won’t Grow!”

Summer Murdock/Offset

What you mean: “I’ve been up since you dragged me out of bed at 5 a.m. and I need you to go to bed immediately because if I can’t crash on the couch in front of the TV with a big glass of wine very, very soon I am literally going to start falling apart at the seams.”

What You Say: “I Don’t Know.”

NIMA Stock/Offset

What you mean: “Do I look like a f*cking search engine to you? How can one person possibly have all the answers to every question that pops into your head? I have no idea why pizza sauce is red, I don’t know if bumblebees sleep, and I definitely can’t tell you why pants are called 'pants,' so please stop asking!”

Ad failed to load

What You Say: “I’m Going To Count To Three…”

Tara Heinl/Offset

What you mean: “I have about three seconds of patience left before I lose my sh*t. So you should probably start listening to me in a hurry, because when those three seconds are up things are gonna get ugly, fast!”

What You Say: “You’re OK!

The Good Brigade/Offset

What you mean: “Oh wow, I really hope you’re OK. Honestly that cut or bruise or bug bite or whatever looks pretty bad and I’m probably going to call the doctor as soon as you’re not looking, but right now I just need you to calm down so let’s just say you’re OK, OK?”

What You Say: “Because I Said So.”

Joyce Kang/Offset

What you mean: “Look, I honestly don’t have the time to sit here and explain to you why you need to brush your teeth or wear a jacket or pick up your toys because I’ve already told you why at least a thousand times, so you’re just going to have to accept the fact that it needs to be done… because I said so!"

Ad failed to load

What You Say: “Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees!”

Jennifer Tonetti-Spellman/Offset

What you mean: “OMG, can we ever walk past a store without you begging me to buy some useless toy that will probably break in five minutes and is almost exactly like another useless toy we have at home?”

What You Say: “Don’t Make Me Come In There!”

LWA/Dann Tardif / Blend/Offset

What you mean: “The truth is I don’t want to come in there. I really don’t know why you insist on jumping on the bed — it's not even that fun. I can think of 15 other things you'd have more fun doing. But of course you're doing the one thing I told you not to do. But you seriously need to stop. Like, right now.”

This post is sponsored by Red Baron Pizza.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

6 Early Signs You're Going To Have A Short Labor, According To Experts

As far as I'm concerned, a short labor is right up there with winning the lottery in terms of lucky life events. (And when I was actually in labor, I would absolutely have traded a bucketful of lottery winnings for a speedier birth.) While some women…
By Kelly Mullen-McWilliams

Kids Will Love These TV Shows & Movies Coming To Netflix In March

You can always count on Netflix to keep it fresh: though there are already so many movies and shows to choose from, every month there's an influx of new content to keep your entire family entertained. As February enters its final weeks, it's time to …
By Megan Walsh

Here Are 10 Ways To Boost Your Baby's Immunity To The Flu

As I'm sure you've read in the thousands upon thousands of articles written about it this winter, the flu is spreading like wildfire and it's bad. Really bad. This strand of flu is the worst we've had in a very long time and it's the most widespread,…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Khloé Kardashian Asked Twitter About Her Bump, & Moms Totally Delivered

Like her younger sister Kylie Jenner, Khloé Kardashian managed to keep most of her pregnancy a sort-of secret. But unlike Jenner, Kardashian chose to publicly announce her pregnancy several months before the baby's due date. While there's no wrong wa…
By Sophie Hirsh

21 Moms Share The Most Surprising Part About Having A C-Section

Honestly, I don't think we, as a culture, talk about C-sections nearly enough, especially considering so many mothers experience them. And because of a number of factors, the little we do talk about it always seems to be a familiar narrative: "It's n…
By Jamie Kenney

13 Yummy Instant Pot Recipes To Make Under 30 Minutes

An Instant Pot seems to be the must-have appliance in every kitchen these days. If you are anything like me and never knew the beauty of a Instant Pot, you are about to have your life changed. Basically, you put some ingredients into a pot, set the t…
By Kristin Manna

9 Things The First Six Months Of Motherhood Will Teach You About Your Baby

Personally, the first six months of motherhood was a mixed bag. I learned some harsh lessons about myself that made taking care of my baby seem overwhelming. For example, I was clueless, and no amount of research could help me feel like anything but …
By Steph Montgomery

11 Photos You *Must* Take During The Last Days Of Your Pregnancy

During my first pregnancy, I took a photo each week to document my growing belly. I stopped around 36 weeks, though. I hated how I looked in those pictures, and didn't think I'd want to relive those moments. I was wrong. My second pregnancy was a dum…
By Steph Montgomery

6 Red Flags To Definitely Look Out For After Your Baby Falls

The first time my infant son tried to take a few steps, he tumbled and bumped his head on the coffee table. My blood turned to ice in my veins and I froze. There truly isn't anything quite like the feeling a parent gets when their little one gets hur…
By Sarah Bunton

These 9 Instant Pot Recipes Will Make Even The Pickiest Eater Happy At The Table

Like any parent, I've had my share of parenting hits and misses, but one of my favorite "wins" is my daughter's diverse palate. I don't even know if I can take credit for it, but I would like to think I had something to do with her love for lentils, …
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

Turns Out, Kim Kardashian's Favorite Mom Products Look A Lot Like Your Own Faves

Being a mom is really hard work, especially for the first few months, and Kim Kardashian West is no different in that regard. Now the mother of three, Kardashian says that there are a few products she just can't live without when it comes to raising …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 30s

If you're like me, you evaluate the pros and cons of any major life decision. When my husband and I were considering starting a family, I thought about my career, education, and financial stability. I wanted to know how a pregnancy and childbirth wou…
By Steph Montgomery

Soda Might Hurt Your Fertility, Study Says, & Here's What You Can Do

Who doesn't love sugary drinks? I stopped drinking soda years ago, but I still love gulping down those fancy Starbucks coffee beverages. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but I am a sucker for sugar-sweetened beverages every now-and-then. Turns out, th…
By Annamarya Scaccia

5 Red Flags Your Toddler Isn't Eating Enough

Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters, at least in my experience. You offer mashed potatoes, they want french fries. You give them crackers, they scream for chips. It's frustrating, to be sure, but it's usually their way of vying for independence. It…
By Candace Ganger

35 Moms Share The Most Disgusting Things Their Husbands Do

I'm a human being who revels in challenges. I like when people present me with one, especially if they don't think I can meet or succeed it, and I like taking a challenge on, especially if it's unexpected. So when I aimed to uncover the most disgusti…
By Jamie Kenney

How Having Kids In Your 20s Affects You Later In Life

For parents, like myself, who had kids in their 20s, there are a number of questions that come to mind. When you're deciding what your future will look like, you'll likely consider what this means for your health, career, and more down the line. Thin…
By Tessa Shull

Study: Drinking Two Glasses Of Wine A Day Is Good For Your Mind — Here's Why

There’s more scientific proof that a daily drink or two isn't necessarily a bad thing and could have a place in an overall healthy lifestyle. A new study out of the University of Rochester Medical Center (URMC) in New York found that — in mice, at le…
By Tiffany Thomas

Research Says Eating Carbs Can Lead To A Healthy Pregnancy, So Bring On The Pasta

In the world of me, no food is better than bread. I know it's supposed to be pretty terrible for you, high in calories, low in protein, and full of that modern-day demon, gluten... but guys, it's really yummy. Especially warm out of the oven, when th…
By Jen McGuire

These Photos Of Prince George Then & Now Will Give You Serious Baby Fever

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their third child in Spring 2018. With all of the excitement surrounding the new baby, it's easy to forget all of the good times that have already passed. The couple's eldest is already well into the sc…
By Azure Hall

This Is, Hands Down, The *Grossest* Thing Babies Do Inside The Womb

Your baby's life in the womb may be safe and warm, but it's also kind of grody. Seriously, the whole process of growing into a human being includes more than a few icky moments along the way. But this is the grossest thing babies do inside the womb b…
By Lindsay E. Mack