I was here for the vibes of hot girl summer until I realized it meant battling beads of boob sweat while pushing my kids in a stroller. Sure, beach weather gives me things to look forward to, like enjoying ice cream cones or swimming in the ocean, but I'm tired of baking every time I step outdoors. Once the weather starts to cool in September, I'm ready to wish summer good riddance as the superior season has arrived. Yeah, I said it:
Fall is way better than summer and don't even try to fight me on this. What Parents Are Talking About — Delivered Straight To Your Inbox
Autumn is a time to fully embrace cozy clothes, colorful leaves, and basically everything else that's great about living in a place with four seasons. Growing up as a Florida girl, I have tons of experience with eternal summers. No. Thank. You. Now that I live in Maryland, which has a true fall, I'm kicking summer lovin' to the curb. Hot months are great if you like wearing clothes drenched in sweat all day, but that's not really for me. I spend the entire summer telling my kids it's too hot for them to sit on my lap. But come autumn, I fall back in love in with cuddling with other humans again. What's not to love about that?
1 Fall Colors Are Calming. Summer Colors Are Too Bright.
Even though it was technically in the summer, I chose autumn colors for my August 29 wedding: rusty red, orange, and chocolate brown. Mustard yellow has been my crush for months now. Autumn colors are warm and inviting, like a hug you step into from a friend you haven't seen in a while. I adore the scenery of multicolored leaves bathed in golden light. And the crunch when you step on them is so satisfying. Summer's color scheme is loud and bright (hence the need for sunglasses in all your IG photos). I'm more than happy to be rid of blinding fluorescent colors everything in favor of the more calm, rich, deep hues of the fall.
2 Fall Clothes Are Cozy. Summer Clothes Are A Bit Too Gauzy.
Fall weather provides a perfect balance between scorching June and icy December, which makes it so easy to dress for. It's the only time I can look cute
and cozy at the same time. Nothing I wear in the summer holds a torch to my fall uniform of leggings, an oversized chunky sweater, and riding boots. Wool peacoat season is delightful, people. Cable-knit tights make the world a better place. "Sweater weather" gives me an excuse to envelope my skin in soft, luxurious-feeling fabrics I want to rub my face against. The barely-there, flimsy textures of summer clothing don't feel nearly as good as my fall duds. Even shorts, while necessary, are overrated; I'm done with burning my thighs on scalding leather every time I sit in the car. 3 Fall Drinks Are Hot. Summer Drinks Are Not.
Coffee is a year-round beverage, naturally, but all of the hot drinks make their glorious comeback right around the time the temperature dips below 70 degrees. And there are so many other hot drinks to choose from even if you don't like
pumpkin spice. I love warming up with my dirty chai lattes, golden milks, hot toddies, and ciders. The spice and warmth of fall beverages win flavor-wise. And sorry, not sorry — no matter how many different fruits you put in a lemonade, it still tastes basic. 4 Fall Apple-Picking Is Fun. Summer Berry-Picking Is Exhausting.
If you're going to go on a pick-your-own fruit outing, fall apple-picking is the way to go. Trust me, as I have crouched under the unforgiving July sun plucking blueberries from a bush at nine months pregnant. Even without the baby bump, the lack of shade in blueberry patches makes the activity exhausting from the heat alone. Never again.
5 Fall Uggs For the Win. Summer Sandals Are A Flop.
I'll admit that by the time summer comes, I'm more than ready to wiggle my toes in the open air after a long winter. But by September, I am all too excited to shove my sock-clad tootsies into some comfy Uggs and buy things I don't need at Target. I wear those things everywhere and with every thing. Have you ever taken a good look at your feet after walking around in sandals all day? Don't even get me start on the blisters.
6 Fall Has Football (Yay). Summer Has Baseball (Meh).
Football has replaced baseball as
America's favorite pastime, per HuffPost, and rightfully so, because I don't remember the last time I saw a man in full-body paint and a colorful curly wig at a baseball game. Baseball games are long and slow — you're better off reading a book or taking a nap. But the hype around a football game is electric even if you're not at the stadium. There's tailgating, watch parties, and of course, all that food. Whether it's on a college or professional level, football culture is undefeated. Baseball, frankly, is boring. 7 Fall Holidays Are Comforting. Summer Holidays Are Noisy. Rawpixel.com/Shutterstock
The sweetest holidays are in the fall: Halloween and Thanksgiving. Nothing celebrated in summer compares to a day devoted to candy, costumes, and eating so much, you have to unbutton your pants. Summer holidays like July 4 sizzle and pop in the heat, annoying sounds booming everywhere outside. Fall holidays are way more chill, and the food is more delicious. I'll take warm apple pie over potato salad any day.
8 Fall Is When Kids Go To School. Summer Is When Kids Are Home. All. Day. Every. Day.
I love my kids as much as the next mom, but June brings the headache of figuring out what to do with them during the day. Camps cost an arm, a leg, and a firstborn, and unfortunately I can't afford a mini mortgage payment to send all three of my kids there. That means they get to stay home and drive me batty asking for snacks every 15 minutes. So, no, I'm not the teary-eyed mom on the first day of school in September. It's all I can do not to punt them into their classrooms and dance to the car at drop off.
I made the best of summer while it lasted, but I'm sick of it. Fall's right round the corner, and I'm ready to let my hair down.