When bickering and frustrations have become the norm in your relationship, living the single life or moving on to someone new might seem like a better alternative. But if the thought of not having anymore lazy Sunday Netflix marathons with your partner brings an empty feeling to the pit of your stomach, then your relationship might be worth fighting for.
Unfortunately, real relationships are not like fairy tales, where couples seemingly never leave the honeymoon phase. They come with arguments, stress, and many times even a few tears. But this doesn’t have to mean the relationship is over. In fact, there’s even better news.
According to Psychology Today, strife in a relationship is actually a good sign. Avoiding conflicts at any cost gives way to a sense of security that isn’t really there. When partners experience conflict, it gives them the chance to develop the skills necessary to deal with differences and become closer than when they’re simply trying to please the other person.
Although some relationships do run their course, many can be saved with some effort (and even end up way stronger and passionate than when they first started). Here are eight signs yours might just be worth saving.
1. You Haven't Tried Communicating Yet
Your partner can't tell what's actually bothering you unless you explicitly tell them. Rolling your eyes won't let them know that it pisses you off when they laugh off your rants about your horrible day at work. In an interview with Psychology Today, psychologist Dr. Fredric Neuman said problems occur when one partner misunderstands how strongly the other feels about certain things. Try talking it out with each other or in the presence of a counselor before you decide it's really over.
2. You Couldn't Imagine Spending Your Day Doing Nothing With Anyone Else
You naturally have those days when you want to lay around doing nothing but napping, binge-watching, and eating. On those days, you just want to be left alone and unbothered — except not really. Having your partner there for some cuddle time makes the laziness that much better.
3. You're Not Ok With Your Partner Moving On
The thought of your partner even holding hands with someone else makes you furious, jealous, and even sad. If you're not OK with your partner moving on once you two breakup, then you probably shouldn't let them go. Breaking up means you must be ready to accept the possibility that a future between you two might never exist. If you're not ready for this, then you should probably commit to working on the relationship before making any permanent decisions.
4. When Things Are Good, You Can See Yourself Marrying This Person
Disagreements will always happens but things like religion, politics, how to raise children, and other sensitive topics are sometimes harder to reconcile. If you've already had these kinds of conversations with your partner and have found common ground, chances are the rough patch you're going through may not be so deep.
5. You Want to Break Up Only to Make Your Partner Change
It may seem tempting to break up with someone in the hopes that they will change when they've realized they've lost you and eventually come back, but it doesn't always work out that way. Resorting to ultimatums, like the threat of leaving your partner, doesn't help to develop the skills necessary to negotiate through disagreements, something that all couples will eventually face. Instead of helping, according to Woman's Health relationship ultimatums hurt the relationship and push your partner away. There is also the chance that after a breakup you don't really want, your partner will simply move on. The chances of saving your relationship then become way worse.
6. The Conflict Stems From A Buildup of Petty Issues
Most of your arguments stem from feeling unheard about issues like cleaning up around the house, forgetting important dates or appointments, or other things that make you feel voiceless. The buildup can make a relationship fail, but you can address it before the pileup becomes too big. The issues your relationship is facing can be solved by more communication unlike issues like infidelity and abuse that create deeper cuts that are many times unable to be healed.
7. Both Of You Are Committed to Putting in Work
Psych Central noted that relationships fail when one party decides they're just over trying — they no longer listen, express their feelings, or make any effort to reconcile differences. If both partners acknowledge and commit to the time and effort it will take to fix what's broken, the chances of going back to that fun, happy couple you once were become much higher. This requires acknowledging where you both are, admitting faults, and the desire to be back in that place.
8. You Love Them
You know you've fallen in love with this person and worry about whether you can find something similar ever again. Aside from the rough patches, you still enjoying spending time, laughing, and getting to know your partner. When things aren't bad, they're very good and you don't want to let that go.