Every couple's wedding day should be magical. Typically, there's months of planning involved, with no detail left unturned. From the rehearsed order of ceremonial events, to napkin color at the reception, it's tedious and the day itself tends to fly by, usually without a hitch. However, when you throw unpredictable kids into the mix, something's bound to go awry. That's why the things every mom with a kid in her wedding worries about on her wedding day are, probably, going to be the biggest source of stress and anxiety.
When my husband and I married, we decided to make our almost 1-year-old daughter my maid of honor. It made sense at the time, and because she'd always been so well-behaved we didn't have much anxiety going into the night before our wedding rehearsal. That is, until it took longer than expected and my darling girl spiraled down a hole of endless toddler tantrums. I couldn't blame her. After all, it was a long evening for all of us. Still, after going through the steps we would inevitably take the day of our wedding, my soon-to-be husband and I were pretty positive something was going to go wrong on what would be a very long day.
When all was said and done, my daughter was a trooper. She had some fussiness near the end of the ceremony, but for the most part we were really proud of how well she tolerated being thrown off her usual schedule for our wedding day theatrics. If only her good behavior saved me from endlessly worrying about all the things that could go wrong throughout that whole day, maybe I'd have enjoyed the experience a little more. Here are some of those things that had me stressed before and after saying "I do," simply because I decided to put my kid in the wedding.
They'll Be Too Tired To Do As Told
It's a big risk to put any kid in a wedding. There's just so many variables involved, including but certainly not limited to: how hungry the kid might be, how willing to play along, and mostly, how tired they'll inevitably become.
My daughter was on a pretty solid schedule that involved a morning and afternoon nap. It was always difficult to plan things that didn't interfere with her routine but for our wedding, there was no way around it except to get through it and hope her fatigue didn't cause a massive scene. As I mentioned, she did well until the tail end of the reception, as the music dwindled and excitement waned where she refused to do another things and, instead, fell asleep. Honestly, I don't blame her.
They'll Throw A Tantrum
The thing about tantrums is, you don't always know what will trigger them or when they're about to erupt in a big way. I can sometimes tell when my kids have hit their limits but, back then, I wasn't so in touch. Plus, it was my wedding day so my peripheral view outside of me was selfishly slim. The entire day — from the start to the end — I feared my daughter would throw a major tantrum. You know, the kind where I'd normally drag her out of a store and carry her home until she calmed.
While she lived on the verge of something epic for the entire day, she never did lose control completely.
They'll Delay The Ceremony
I'm a stickler for staying on task. Time is fleeting and I'm a busy woman. Even on my wedding day we had a scheduled and bullet-pointed list of things that would happen at certain times. With every next step, I feared my daughter might do something to disrupt the whole meticulous schedule that might put us behind (and therefore cut our time in the reception location). I look back now and wish I'd been a little more chill about all of this because, again, my kid didn't cause any of these things to happen.
They Won't Cooperate For Photos
Whoever booked our photographer didn't research the quality of the final product or length of time it would take to get the shots I wanted. As a result, there was a lot of wasted time with poses I didn't need or care about and when all was said and done, the end result wasn't even that great. They're OK, but for such a big day we expected more.
Because of the time issue (and we were already behind schedule), I was so nervous my daughter would decide not to take part for another pose. She was restless, getting tired and hungry, and kind of over the whole thing. We got a few good shots of her, but then chose to let her run around and be free instead of forcing her into more (unnecessary) pictures.
They'll Spill Something On The Wedding Dress
I'm a mom, so I know accidents and spills happen. But on my wedding day, I think I walked around with my fingers crossed, keeping a safe distance from my daughter when she had her sippy cup or handful of Cheerios in hand. You know, just in case. I didn't plan this day for months, only to have my dress (or any of my bridesmaids' dresses) ruined at the very las moment. That sounds really harsh, I know, but I'd give my daughter every part of me from the day she was born. I only wanted this one day to feel beautiful (or even a few hours) and mess-free.
They'll Destroy Something At The Venue
Do you know how destructive kids are when they've just learned how to walk? I do! My daughter had only been walking a couple weeks at the time of our wedding and when she walked, it was a sprint towards whatever she could get her hands on. Throughout the ceremony and reception, I had my eyes glued to her every movement, fear of her breaking something or getting hurt. It only made a stressful day more stressful.
They'll Refuse To Walk Down The Aisle Altogether
Despite our rehearsal, I was afraid my little maid of honor would refuse to walk. It would've been "cute," for sure, but because of the way we'd planned the song, the delayed timing would've thrown off the rest of the party, impacting the moment I turned to walk, too (I had a big moment planned and, yes, it was glorious).
There was a brief moment my girl tried to run away, but a bridesmaid guided her to speed things along (and allow me to breathe). If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have been so obsessed with the timing of the big reveal, as long as I had my kid in the wedding.
They'll Go Rogue
Even though my baby had only started walking, she could've run off somewhere without anyone noticing. A case of "everyone's watching, but no one is actually watching," was my fear. I tried to pay attention to where she was at all times, but through the business of the day I had to put my trust in that of others to run after her if she tried to escape. If she'd have been older with a solid plan, she totally could have. And again, weddings are a lot of fuss and downright stressful. So basically, I don't fault her for wanting it to be over. I kind of did, too.