Though some might say they don't care about what others think of them — and genuinely mean it — I'd argue that the vast majority feels otherwise. Even if someone else's opinion only matters a bit to you, you've probably felt at least somewhat curious if it was a negative critique. I, for one, know I've been on the receiving end of many "judging you" stares and am left scratching my head trying to figure out what I did. As it turns out, there are some common daily habits that you don't realize make people think less of you. Before you rush to any pessimistic conclusions, remember that if you can recognize a detrimental pattern, then you can fix it, too. Turns out, as any '90s kid will confirm, G.I. Joe was onto something when he said, "knowing is half the battle."
You're probably already familiar with the actions that society as a whole tends to frown upon. As Entertainment Weekly noted, on The Good Place they have a pretty basic point system on good or bad social interactions. "Telling a woman to smile docked someone 53.83 points," creator Michael sure explained. So what kind of daily actions are unknowingly giving others a less than stellar impression of you? Check out these common habits that make people think less of you.
1. You're Not Being Sincere
Whether you mean to or not, if someone perceives your actions to be less than genuine, that's a guaranteed way to get a person to dislike you. As Forbes noted, "it's difficult to like someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel." So that quick smile you flashed to the barista — which you thought was polite — could actually seem really fake.
2. Your Selfies Are Too Much
You might think it would be the frequency of posting selfies that could be a real turn-off, but it has more to do with the actual composition of the photo. According to a study published by the California Institute of Technology (Cal Tech), "close-up photo subjects are judged to look less trustworthy and less competent." Maybe next time pay attention to how much you're cropping your posts on Instagram.
3. You Prefer Dark Attire
Jessica Jones is definitely my style twin, because there will never be a time when I don't think combat boots and muted tones are the best option. Unfortunately, that could make others think I'm just as moody as the Marvel badass. "The color of the clothes you wear can also create impressions," Dr. Kim Chronister, a clinical psychologist, told Bustle. "For example, lighter tones are perceived as friendliness." Now I just need to know if wearing white tee under a black jacket counts as being likable.
4. You Complain — A Lot
The always-wise Hannah Montana once lamented that, "everybody has those days." Yet, like with most things, it's tolerable in moderation. As Dr. Guy Winch, a licensed psychologist, told Psychology Today, "constant negativity from chronic complainers presents a huge challenge for those around them." Misery may love company, but that doesn't mean the company loves their misery.
5. You Over-Share
In a world that seems to rank people by likes and retweets, maintaining your online presence can be a delicate balance. According to a study conducted by researchers at the University of Birmingham's business school, over-sharing on social media can cause friends to think less of you. Whether you're posting photos, check-ins, or expressing your most random thoughts, less might be more.
6. You Subtly Boast
If you regularly make seemingly self-effacing comments in the hopes to impress others, that little habit could have the opposite effect. According to research from the Harvard Business Institute (HBI), "although people often choose to 'humblebrag' when motivated to make a good impression, it is an ineffective self-promotional strategy." How exactly does this false modesty make people think less of you? "Humblebragging has global costs — reducing liking and perceived sincerity," the HBI further noted.
7. You're Glued To Technology
I'll be the first to admit that it's difficult to unplug from a world that's all about social networks. But those tech tendencies could be causing others to like you less. "Nothing will turn someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone," as Forbes reported. Remember, real face time can mean more than sending an emoji.
8. You Don't Ask Questions
Conversations are a two-way street. If only one person is doing all the talking, it can leave the other party with a bad taste in their mouth. As Chronister told Bustle, "people who speak mostly about themselves and do not ask questions are perceived to be self-absorbed." Let's just say, being narcissist is probably not how you want people to think of you.
9. You Bottle Things Up
In your day-to-day interactions, you might think you're doing the polite thing by keeping your feelings inside. However, you could actually be having the opposite impact. Business Insider reported that people who suppressed their emotions, "were judged less likable — as well as less extroverted and agreeable — than people who emoted naturally." It makes sense, though, that others would think less of you if they don't feel like they can connect with you.