Whether your partner has been with you for years or just for one evening, you probably want to make that person feel comfortable. And if your time together is heading toward the bedroom, you probably want to do everything in your power to keep the heat building. Avoiding the common mistakes that can ruin your partner's orgasm can help you both keep things more sexy than weird.
This is not to say that your sex life must progress like the staged scenes from a movie. I get it: life happens. Even when you do everything in your power to set the mood for a romantic evening, the votive candles set the curtains on fire or the cat throws up on the bed. Sometimes life just intervenes in the worst way.
But there is still a lot you can do to tip the romantic odds in your favor. The biggest idea: communicate with your partner, discover likes and dislikes, and act accordingly. Sure, this idea has been trotted out a thousand times, but communicating well with your bedmate, and not falling prey to assumptions, can go a long way toward making sure your sex life stays awesome. Keep these mistakes in mind and have fun out there.
1You Put Pressure On Them
Is anything less sexy than an orgasm-on-demand? As noted by Thought Catalog, pestering your partner to orgasm will almost always backfire. Just take things as they come.
2You Drink (A Lot) Before
Alcohol is a tricky aphrodisiac: a glass or two can help you and your partner relax and get in the mood. But a few too many drinks can dampen the libido, as noted in the website for Women's Health. This can make hitting the big O trickier for your partner.
3You Go Right For The Kink Factor
Kinks are normal, fantastic, and fun. That said, they aren't for everybody. As noted on the website for Psychology Today, you can pitch your kink to your partner in an attractive way in hopes of a sign-on. It's like Shark Tank but for sex. Just don't just spring it on them out of the blue: that's almost guaranteed to go badly.
4You Leave Your Phone On
Sometimes things happen spontaneously and you don't have time to put your phone on silent mode. But as noted on The Frisky, a sudden phone call during sex can often throw off your sexy vibe. Answering the call, especially if there's no case of emergency, is definitely a mood-killer.
5You Use Teeth
Sure, some people are into gentle nibbles. But others are definitely not a fan of teeth anywhere near their delicate areas. It's best to make sure.
6You Talk Dirty
Again, it's a matter of preference. Plenty of people are into some dirty talk. That said, it's good to know whether your partner likes it beforehand. Nothing can kills an orgasm quite as quickly as unwanted dirty talk.
7You Hear Outside Noise
Sure, some people can maintain their mood no matter what's going on around them. But for most people, creating a sexy space free from distraction is key, as noted on Bustle. You don't have to go all out with wine and candles, just consider turning off the television. It's difficult to keep your mood amorous with the Law & Order "dun-dun" noise echoing in the background.
8You Have Visitors
This is like the phone thing on a whole other level. Try to make sure you and your partner won't be disturbed by anyone during your Netflix and chill session. This also includes any pets, as there are some things Fluffy does not need to see.
9You Don't Ask About Your Partner's Likes
Hey, maybe your SO can only get off under some particular circumstances. Some people rely on sex toys or other sexy stimuli. Ask about their wants and needs and follow through (as long as you're comfortable, too).