Oh the newlywed phase. It's like a year long honeymoon filled with passion, lust, and shiny new wedding presents. Or at least that's what it's supposed to be, right? That first year of marriage is also a time where you and your partner are figuring out what being married really means to your relationship. Even if you've been a couple for years and even cohabited before walking down the aisle, the first year of marriage is a learning curve for everyone. There will be arguments and fights that all newlyweds have, but it's how you as a couple handle those fights that can ensures wedded bliss for years to come. At the very least, it can help ensure you and your husband can squash those little fights before they become very big fights.
My favorite piece of advice on how to have a long and happy marriage is to make sure neither one of you wants to get divorced on the same day. So how do you do that during the ups and down of that first year of marriage? A good place to start is knowing what most newlyweds fight about and the best way to stop those fights.
1How You Fight
How you both approach arguments, big and small, can cause a lot of tension in your marriage. You and your partner need to find a communication style that works for both of you and respect the boundaries you have set.
There are a lot of holidays during that first year of marriage. How and where you two spend those holiday can be stressful and lead to a lot of fights. You and your spouse need to agree on solutions that are fair and agree that your holiday plans can change year to year.
His money. Her money. Our money. Now that you're married, you've inherited each other's bills and debit. As a couple, you need to set a budget and a money plan for your future. It's not easy, but it will save you major fights for years to come.
Don't sweat the small stuff, but be honest with each other about the housekeeping issues that are deal breakers for you.
When you marry someone, you marry their entire family. Learning how to live with each other's family can take a toll on newlyweds. Set boundaries early and make sure your decisions are putting you and your spouse first.
You and your SO may be focused on your careers, and sometimes that means not enough together time. Before this becomes an issue, get creative on how you spend time together: make lunch dates, try a weekday date night, and always plan your next romantic vacation.
Even if you lived together before you walked down the aisle, sometimes losing a lot of that "me time" can be hard for you and your spouse. Respect the time you and your partner need together and apart.
You're newlyweds, shouldn't you be lighting candles every single night? No, because this is real life. Sex will always be an important part of marraige and when one person feels there isn't enough sex, it will cause issues. You and your spouse need to be open and resepctful about how you are feeling and your needs.
Remember four months ago when your SO forgot to go to the grocery store and it really made you mad? Well, now is not the time to bring that fight up. Nothing escalates a new fight faster than brining up old fights again and again. Agree to leave those fights in the past and focus on the matter at hand.