When you are comfortable in a relationship, it is easy to inadvertently say or do things that may seem thoughtless or even suspicious to your partner. The longer you are together, the more likely that you will find yourself making mistakes that erode trust in your relationship. Once there are trust issues, every move you make can seem dubious.
Low self-esteem can be a catalyst for trust issues. Aging, having children, gaining weight, and a change in libido can negatively affect your self-perception. If you see yourself as old, overweight, and not sexually desirable, it is easy for your mind to become suspicious of every move your partner makes. Your mind may trick you into thinking, "How could anyone be faithful to someone who looks like me?" If your partner is struggling with self-esteem, it is important to be mindful of your actions so that you can try to avoid triggering these trust issues.
Loss of trust is harmful for both parties. Your partner doesn't want to question you almost as much as you don't want to be questioned. Consideration is key, even if your partner isn't struggling with self-esteem. By avoiding these common mistakes that can lead to mistrust, you can have a successful relationship.
Lying to your partner is one of the quickest ways to lose their trust. Even little white lies can turn into big problems if they are discovered. A common misstep, according to Heart Spirit Mind, is to lie in order to spare your partner's feelings. This is always a mistake. Being caught in a white lie opens up the floodgates to suspicion and distrust. Most of the time, the ensuing argument has more to do with the dishonesty than the transgression.
Suddenly taking your phone calls in private, keeping your cell phone on you at all times, adjusting your privacy settings so that incoming texts don't pop up on your home screen, or changing your phone, email or bank passwords without informing your spouse are all red flags. According to Huffington Post, secrets have no place in a long-term committed relationship, and can do more harm than good.
An innocent person can always quickly, honestly, and completely answer questions like "Where are you?" "Who are you with?" or "Who were you talking to?" It is evasive to answer, "I'm in a meeting," when the truth is "I'm at the coffee house waiting for Bob to bring me the reports." The more questions your partner has to ask to get a complete answer, the more likely you are to lose their trust.
Defensiveness is one of the first signs of dishonesty. If you take offense by having to answer basic questions, you are saying that you have something to hide. Partners who act defensive are fueling suspicion and destroying their relationship, according to Leading With Trust.
5. Not Following Through
If your partner can't depend on you follow through with taking out the trash, how can they trust that you will love, honor and cherish them as long as you both shall live? Breaking promises, no matter how small, can make your partner feel that you are unreliable and this leads to distrust.
6. Lack Of Intimacy
Nothing arouses more suspicion in a wife, than a husband who doesn't want to have sex. Woman's Day noted that it is important to talk to your spouse if you have any physical or emotional reasons for not wanting to be intimate. Always follow up with a professional if things don't improve.
It is hard to trust someone who always puts their own wants and needs before their partner's. Even little selfish behaviors — being in charge of the remote, always picking the music in the car, having one last drink when your partner is ready to go home — can take a toll on a relationship.
8. Excluding Your Partner
Being excluded always gives birth to suspicion, whether you are making important life or financial decisions without consulting with your spouse, or you don't include them in events and activities in which you participate. A partnership is about working together and being together.
9. Spending Too Much Time Away
The rule of thumb is that you should always spend more time with your partner than apart. Partners who travel often for work should not plan a "girl's weekend" or a "guy's fishing trip" when they finally have time off. Although it may seem like an innocent break from the stress of work, your spouse will see it as even more time away from home, and start to question your loyalty to the relationship. Use your time off to strengthen your bond, not pull it apart.