I don't take offense and I try not to get upset when strangers, or even friends, ask blunt questions about adoption. I consider myself an advocate for adoption and I like to shine light on certain aspects of this life choice that most people don't get to see up close. But I also think it's important I remind people that, sometimes, it's not appropriate to ask the first thing that comes to your mind. Make no mistake, there are questions adoptive moms are so damn tired of hearing, and while we usually understand why you're curious, we're still exhausted by it all.
I actually love talking about adoption. In fact, the thing that I find most surprising about adoption is that I can almost never stop thinking about it, in part because strangers ask very blunt questions when I least expect it. My children are young enough that they don't know what the questions are or what they mean, but that won't be the case for much longer. My children aren't exhibit A and B for you, and pretty soon they will know when they're being examined by complete strangers as though they were in a zoo. Likewise, soon enough, they'll be aware when you start asking about why their birth mom gave them up or whether she might be able to get them back one day.
I don't want it to seem like you can't ask questions about adoption, but many questions I receive aren't actually about adoption. They're about the gruesome particulars of how I came to parent these children. Many inquisitive people simply want to know details they wouldn't ever bother to ask a biologically family. If you want to ask about adoption, that's wonderful, but please keep in mind that that's not the defining detail of my family. So stay curious, but please think before you ask any of the following: