Falling in love with someone is one of the best feelings to ever experience. After dating for a while, some couples opt to take things a step further and move in together. Though some couples choose to wait until marriage, others think that moving in together prior to is a great way to test the waters when it comes to cohabitation. Sure, moving in together can be exciting, but are you sure this is what's best? Before you answer, be sure you've checked your list of questions to ask before moving in with a significant other.
After living with roommates throughout my entire collegiate career, I learned that there are certain ways that I like things and certain things I'm not willing to compromise on. Now that I've been living by myself for many years, I've gotten used to the way things are, and I'm still not sure if I'm ready to compromise by living with a significant other. Though the experience can be a predictor of a long-time union, it can also make you realize that they are actually not the one for you. Men and women are totally different in many ways, and by living with your significant other, you'll find out if those differences are things that you can deal with or not. I know that I'm not one that likes a messy or dirty home, so if my spouse moves in and isn't the same, there's no way that I can deal with that.
If you're planning to lock in a new abode with your significant other soon and aren't sure of what questions you should be asking, these nine will help you get on your way.
1. How Are We Splitting The Bills?
According to Huffington Post, one of the most important questions you should be asking is who's paying for what. The site noted that this is important because money issues are very common in relationships, so making things known in advance will alleviate common money arguments.
2. Will We Still Have Date Night?
Moving in with your significant other means that you will increase the time you see them, but not necessarily the time you spend with them. Refinery29 noted that living together doesn't eliminate the need to plan things out with your lover. You should now be working harder to plan out your dates outside of the house.
3. How Are You With Budgeting?
For me, knowing how well my significant other is with budgeting is super important. I have my money budgeted out for each week and try really hard to not stray away from that. So, if my significant other likes to spend unnecessary money regularly, that's always going to be something that we are at odds about.
4. How Is Your Credit?
Much like the above, knowing your partner's history with bills is something that you should inquire about. If their credit score isn't in good standing and they haven't started to repair it, it could indicate that they are not good with paying bills on time and are irresponsible with their finances. Check your credit score together with free sites like creditkarma.com
5. Should We Both Be On The Lease?
According to Refinery29, asking the question of whose name should be on the lease is important because you want to make things clear in case of a breakup. Putting both names on the lease makes each person legally and financially responsible for the lease should anything go sour in the future.
6. Why Are We Doing This?
Self magazine noted that making it clear on why you're moving in together is necessary because you want to make sure you both are on the same page. If one of you are agreeing to live together because you're wanting to save money, but the other is under the impression that it's to prep for marriage, there will be many issues that could surface. In order to avoid misleading one another, being clear from the beginning is a smart move.
7. How Much Time Do You Need To Yourself?
Since I've been living by myself for a really long time, I've grown accustomed to spending a lot of time alone. If my partner doesn't respect that I need a certain amount of time a day to myself when they move in, issues will arise and I'll start to resent their presence. Making it known that you need a specific amount of time to yourself to find peace, focus, or to just relax can help your relationship work better.
8. What's Your Definition Of Clean?
Everyone has a different definition of clean. If you and your partner don't share the same definition — or even one closely relatable — you will always be at odds. Laying out the ground rules of how you like things and what you expect, are ways to find common ground on keeping the house clean. You could even suggest keeping a weekly checklist with cleaning days and assignments for each person.
9. What Is The Ultimate Goal?
According to Huffington Post, most couples do not ask the question of what the ultimate goal is of moving in together. Making it known that the goal is to save up for a house or a marriage will help both of you know if this is something you should be doing with each other.