Oh parenting. It presents more challenges than anyone could imagine before they embark on this particular journey. From learning how to get baby food out of a silk blouse, to navigating the world of mom groups, it can get dicey. One thing I didn't expect to change as much as it did was my sex life. Sure, I understood I'd have less sex for a while, but I didn't realize that I would need to have silent "going to wake the baby" sex for years after. But I found a solution to one problem. Here are some quiet vibrators for when you want to get off without alerting the household.
It is my opinion that every sexual person should have a good vibrator. It doesn't matter your gender orientation or sexuality — they are an essential item in your grown up toy box. Vibration is fun. Just the knowledge that it is in your arsenal can really up the ante in your sex life, whether you're using it solo or with a partner. The vibrations add an extra layer of sexiness. However, they can also be really loud. Cheaper versions can sound like a possessed electric toothbrush that someone's plugged into a car battery; it's not very incognito. Thankfully, there are better ones on the market that won't give away what's going on behind closed doors.
1. Plus One Bullet
Plus One Bullet
I thought I'd start out with an introductory vibrator for those who've never used or purchased one before. This one from Plus One is available at Walmart and Amazon, and soon, Target. It's powerful and quiet and will get the job done. It's exactly the right vibrator to get you excited about buying more.
2. LoveHoney Silencer
This is a very reasonably priced toy that is known to be quiet. It's insanely highly-rated, and everyone has noted on how quiet it is. This one is made of medical grade silicone and is 100 percent waterproof. However, this one takes two C batteries, which inevitably makes it last longer than the rechargeable vibrators, but you'll want to keep some extra batteries around.
3. Lelo Kiki 2
Lelo Kiki 2
Lelo has some of the best vibrators on the market. This mini vibrator is hooked in the exact right way to hit the right spot for ultimate pleasure. Lelo is known for their whisper-quiet vibrators, and high quality, long lasting products. This one comes in three colors, but as a Mom, I'd suggest incognito black.
4. Lelo Sona
This is one of the most popular vibrators in existence, and for good reason. This baby is seriously powerful, with multiple speeds, and it's reasonably affordable. The Sona is quiet and ergonomically designed to fit perfectly into the user's hand whether they're using on themselves or someone else. Quite frankly, it's perfect.
5. Womanizer Starlet
Adam and Eve
This is a TINY vibrator. This is what you wish you had when you were traveling after college and had your first solo hotel room and no boyfriend. It looks like something you would use to clean your pores, so as long as it's not charged and at no risk of going off, TSA isn't going to look closely at it. (Although I don't know why we make such a big deal of TSA agents noticing our vibrators, you know they use them, too.)
6. Petite Remote Control Panty Teaser
Petite Remote Control Panty Teaser
Adam and Eve
If you're feeling adventurous, why not try this out? It's extremely quiet because it's designed to be worn in public — or just around the house. Your partner gets the remote and you won't know what's coming — until you do.
7. Hush By Lovesense Butt Plug
Hush By Lovesense Vibrating Butt Plug
Oh, you thought vibrating toys were just for clitorises and vaginas? Nope. This vibrating butt plug is small and discreet and most importantly, quiet.
8. Smart Wand
Wands are notoriously loud, but not this one. There are no cables, so you're not going to get all tied up. Wands are the gold standard of vibrators.
9. LoveHoney Womanizer Premium
Lelo Womanizer Premium
Oh holy crap. Vibrators have now gone "smart." According to the manufacturer, "The Premium clitoral stimulator from Womanizer, with mind-blowing Pleasure Air Technology, [is] a body sensor that knows when to turn on and off, and an autopilot mode which lets your toy take control of your orgasm." And "the Smart Silence function means your toy only turns itself on when it comes into close contact with your body, making slipping into play a seamless experience. Similarly, when contact is broken, the Premium will turn itself off."