Sex isn't everything in a relationship, but it certainly counts for a lot. And making a healthy sex life for yourself can take time, effort, and self-knowledge. But, again, it's certainly worth the effort. So when you're in the process of creating a more positive relationship with your sex life, there are a few sex red flags you shouldn't ignore.
Basically, a healthy sexual relationship will leave you feeling good about yourself. Whether you and your partner are together for one night or the rest of your lives, it's crucial to maintain some base line of respect and kindness to one another. (And yes, even the kinkier sides of sex can best be appreciated with an open mind and healthy dose of respect).
On the flip side, these signs can reveal that a partner or relationship that is not going to benefit you in any real way. Sometimes these things can be worked through, and other times it's best to just part ways. At any rate, these signs need to be addressed in order to have a better sex life. To repeat a somewhat cliched idea, spending less time with a disrespectful partner will give you more time to find a SO who will rock your world in all the right ways.
1. They Have Zero Cares About Your Orgasm
Sure, not everyone feels the need to "get there" with absolutely every sexual encounter. But if your partner does not seem to care about your orgasm at all, then it may be time to cut and run, as noted in Self. What's the point?
2. They Put Low-Key Pressure On You
This is not cool, even if it does masquerade as a compliment. If you say you're not up for sex at the moment, but your partner continues to push for it, then it's a red flag, according to Cosmopolitan. You don't need to run for the hills at this point, but it may be smart to make sure your partner is actually cool with healthy boundaries.
3. They Refuse To Discuss Test History
If a potential partner mocks you for your concern about their STD and HIV status, run. According to Shape, being able to discuss your test history openly and honestly with a partner is crucial. Even if someone is free from STIs, there's no reason to get snippy with you for having legitimate health concerns.
4. The Dish Derisive Comments
Even if it's just a casual thing, having sex with someone implies a certain amount of trust and respect. And someone who makes derisive comments about your body, bedroom techniques, or past sexual history has no place in your sex life. Sexual positivity is pretty crucial.
5. They Are Sketchy About The Relationship Status
Wanting to keep things casual is perfectly cool, and sex does not have to equal a relationship. But if your partner can't just say this outright, and instead keeps you in a sort of relationship limbo, then you may want out. Whether you're a fling or a serious relationship, honest communication is key.
6. They're Coercive In The Bedroom
Of course there is a place for dominance in some relationships. But if you aren't in a stated relationship of this sort, and your partner still tries to use coerciveness or threats in bed, then this is a bad sign, as noted by Psychology Today. At this point it's just cruelty.
7. They Whine
Sure, it may not be the biggest red flag out there. But if your partner legitimately whines or throws a fit to get you in bed, then get out. A grown adult resulting to tantrums is never sexy.
8. They Aren't Into Sex
If you're in a committed relationship and the sex stops, it's time for a conversation. As noted in Redbook, a lack of intimacy deserves discussion. After all, knowing that your partner is just wiped out from work and not avoiding your affections can be crucial information.
9. They Have A Highly Mismatched Libido
Most any couple will wax and wane in terms of desire. But if your libidos and sexual interests are intensely mismatched, then it may be time to reconsider your relationship. Otherwise, you are both going to be routinely dissatisfied.