Dealing with the in-laws is a classic marital issue. If you're lucky, the in-laws will be lovely people who support your relationship in a respectful manner. If you're unlucky, though, it might feel like your spouse is still living under their parents' rules. Staying mindful of the signs your in-laws are influencing your SO too much can make your relationship more understandable, as well as highlight potential problem areas.
To begin, what do healthy relationships with the in-laws look like, anyway? In general, healthy couples understand the fact that in-laws are different people with different views, and they accept these contrasts in good humor, psychoanalyst Cathy Siebold told Psych Central. Although they sincerely attempt to understand and interact with the in-laws, healthy couples also realize the importance of maintaining a separate relationship and keeping boundaries. "They’re able to have open conversations with their spouse about their needs and create a plan that both of them agrees with," explained psychologist Meredith Hansen to Psych Central. No one's expecting perfection, but in general, all parties will treat one another like adults, with respect and an open line of communication.
On the other hand, in-laws who are over-involved in your partner's life can add unnecessary complications to your marriage. Granted, the amount of acceptable parental interference will depend on your culture, upbringing, and even personality to some extent. The mother-in-law who seems like a busybody to one person may appear caring and devoted to someone else. But in general, if your SO is displaying the following signs, it may be time to rethink your boundaries with the in-laws.