Knowing you've been used is one of the worst feelings. Although many people may have felt this with their family or friends,which hurts like hell, feeling this way because of a partner is worse. Being with someone who doesn't have your best interest in mind is hard to accept, but if you are aware of the signs your partner is using you, you can get out before you get too hurt.
Although I was never in a relationship with someone who used me, I casually dated someone that did. As a naturally giving person, I didn't notice that I was being used at first. I just brushed it off as him asking a friend for help. As time went on, however, I started realizing that the base of our relationship was me always giving to him without receiving anything in return.
One of the main reasons being used hurts is because it proves that the person's main focus always is and always will be on themselves. Although some people have the ability to change and grow once the issue is addressed, it can be difficult for some to conquer.
So, if you're not sure whether or not your partner encompasses the habits of a user, take a look at these 11 signs to compare and contrast.
1. They Only Call You When They Need Something
If they are asking for a favor every time you answer your phone, then they are using you. Just listen to "Bills, Bills, Bills" by Destiny's Child for further proof.
2. They Keep The Relationship A Secret
According to Thought Catalog, if your relationship is a secret, you could be getting used by your partner. It implies that they are ashamed of you or, possibly, themselves for the way they treat you.
3. They Only Talk About How You Look
As vain as it sounds, the aforementioned Thought Catalog piece noted some people choose to date others solely based off of their looks, which is a form of using someone. If they are constantly pointing out how good you look, but never take notice on your other attributes, you may need to have a talk.
4. They Are Only Affectionate During Sex
When I was in college, my roommate would always come to me with her guy problems. One time, it was because her SO at the time was only affectionate during sex. After I urged her to confront him about it, he revealed to her that he was in a relationship with someone else. Needless to say, he was using her for sex.
5. They Never Focus On Your Needs
According to Bustle, a partner who doesn't focus on your needs is a user, as shows they are selfish.
6. You Always Feel The Need To Apologize
According to Elite Daily, manipulators make others think they have to apologize for things they didn't do or shouldn't apologize for. It's a type of guilt trip that you will see in users.
7. They Never Know How They Feel
On her site, relationship specialist Dr. Laura Schlessinger wrote that a user isn't able to define their feelings after being with someone for a long period of time. This is likely because you are just being used to suit their needs. Anyone who is interested in you will have no issue moving on to the next level.
8. You Feel The Need To Hold Back Your True Feelings
According to HuffPost, feeling forced to hold back true your feelings could mean you're in a one-sided relationship. Your partner should make you feel comfortable sharing how you feel and if they don't do that, this may not be the one.
9. You Always Make All The Plans
According to Schlessinger, if you're making all of the plans, you should reconsider being in your relationship. It shows that the efforts aren't equal, which only leads to problems.