There is an entire online library of sorts detailing just how to know if your partner is cheating and that it's time to move on. And although information like that can certainly be helpful, there is a definite shortage of pieces about marriages that are actually going well. What about ways to know your SO is truly head over heels in love? Or signs your spouse isn't cheating on you? In a world that loves to focus on the negative, maybe it's time to celebrate the relationships that are going well.
As my own third anniversary approaches (which isn't much time at all, compared to many marriages out there) I'm no stranger to conflict and the hard aspects of marriage. But, I'm also a firm believer in recognizing the beautiful aspects of it too, even on the days when it's hard, or you'd rather just be left alone.
Infidelity, while seemingly prominent in our society, doesn't have to be the norm. And a marriage built on trust, communication, and faithfulness is genuinely something worth celebrating.
So even though marriage is rarely just sunshine and roses, if these signs ring true in your relationship, you definitely have a good thing going.
1. They're Open About Their Friendships And Relationships
A healthy marriage doesn't mean that you don't have other outside friends. In fact, according to a piece from the Huffington Post, having outside friendships is healthy and great. But you both should be open with each other, making sure not to cross any lines.
2. They Do What They Say They're Going To Do
Follow through is a key aspect of trust. If your partner consistently claims they will do something, but never actually does it, you're justified in doubting them. On the other hand, if they're consistent and do what they say they'll do, you probably have no reason to worry when they claim they're faithful to you.
3. They Get Excited To See You After Being Apart
Being apart is a natural part of relationship, but you can be sure that your partner is truly all yours if they can't wait to get back to you when the time apart is over — be it the end of a work day or a month apart.
4. Their Phones And Social Media Aren't Off Limits
Whether or not you agree with knowing each other's passwords or not, it's important that, if the need arose, you would both be comfortable showing your phones or social media profiles to each other. This transparency is healthy and necessary to build trust.
5. They Only Have Eyes For You
Although there are lots of signs that your spouse only has eyes for you, you'll be able to tell through the little things they do for your each day.
6. They Have Good Friends
A 2014 study by the University of Chicago noted the influence friends have on a person's decision making, ability to resist temptation, and enjoy indulgences. It make sense then to assume that good friends will encourage your spouse to be even better.
7. They Have No Secrets
Marriage is no place for secrets, no matter how small. It not only breeds distrust, but creates room for lies, even small ones, to creep their way in. "Even the tiniest of secrets closes off a part of a spouse's heart," psychiatrist Carole Lieberman told Parents. "You're always aware that you're being dishonest, and this creates distance." But, on the other hand, if you and your spouse are truly open with each other, you'll be able to tell.
8. They Don't See Sex As "Just Sex"
Many people who have been cheated on explain that sex became impersonal and mechanic, lacking emotion and connection. When your relationship is truly just between the two of you, you'll both be invested and interested in your sex life too.
9. They're Affectionate
More than just great sex, a healthy and committed relationship will express itself in other ways too. Affection — the simple things like holding hands, putting your arm around each other, or a kiss at the end of the day — proves that they're still just as into you as ever.