Breakups are never fun, but ghosting and breadcrumbing are some of the worst forms of rejection. They can happen after the first date, a couple hookups, or even worse, years into a relationship. Unfortunately, these dating trends are all too common, and it doesn’t look like they’ll end anytime soon. To save yourself from heartbreak, you'll want to consider some signs you’re dating someone who is likely to breadcrumb or ghost you.
Before diving into the signs of ghosting and breadcrumbing, you have to know what they are. Ghosting is when someone you’re seeing ends the relationship by simply disappearing, according to HuffPost. And because dating as a millennial is so complicated, there’s a new phenomenon that makes ghosting look good: Breadcrumbing, or leading someone on with no intent of following through, Bela Gandhi, founder of the Smart Dating Academy, said in an interview with Today.
Dating apps might've made life easier by connecting single people with a simple scroll, but it's also made it easier for people to peace out of relationships. Sure, some ghosters and breadcrumbers have their personal reasons for committing the act, but when you’re on the receiving end of it, it can be emotionally draining. After all, you’re left without any closure which forces you to come up with a million reasons why they did what they did or even blaming yourself for what went wrong. It’s almost never your fault when you’re ghosted or breadcrumbed, but these dating behaviors can mess with your mind. So check out these warning signs before your potential partner checks out of your life.
1. They Never Message First
The texting game is tricky. You don’t want to be too eager by texting someone back within seconds, but you want to show interest by occasionally texting first. If you’re always initiating the conversation, however, know that they're only in your life because of your efforts, not theirs, according to The Talko. Remember that if they don't make an effort to talk to you, they probably won't make an effort in relationships.
2. Their Texts Are Short
Your inbox might’ve been filled with affectionate messages and conversations about your up-bringing in the beginning, but after awhile, you notice his texts are getting shorter. Even if they do respond to your four-paragraph rant, it’s nothing more than an OK. This shift in language might seem trivial, but it’s a subtle way of showing they’re just not into you anymore.
3. They Flirt Via Social Media
A little social media flirting is nice, but if someone is double-tapping or commenting on your recent selfie yet failing to text you back, they're probably just lazy. If someone really likes you, they'll make an effort to see you, and not just send a generic "hey" or like a Facebook post, Gandhi said in the aforementioned Today interview.
5. They're Always "Busy"
If the person you’re seeing is conveniently always busy, you’re probably wasting your time. At first, you might be hopeful and believe that they're actually busy, but remember that if someone is truly interested in you, they will go out of their way to see you.
4. They're Being Really Vague
Sure, they’ll say they want to get together, but they never make any definite plans. If they’re giving you vague responses when asking about their schedule, like “speak soon” or “talk later,” they’re likely breadcrumbing you, according to Elite Daily.
6. They Pop In And Out Of Your Life
Breadcrumbers will leave their "breadcrumbs" by sending a couple Snapchats before slipping out of your life. If they do show up in your life again, they'll probably act like nothing happened. What's worse, they purposely reappear just when you begin to lose interest, according to Your Tango, which is why most people breadcrumb to begin with.
7. They Make Up Excuses
Repeatedly making plans with someone but canceling last minute because they, "burnt their elbow from cooking" is an unreasonable, but telling sign that they don’t want to see you anymore. According to HuffPost, people will often use work as an excuse, so beware of the “work” card too.
8. They Avoid The "Feelings" Talk
It’s always fun to flirt with someone you’re seeing, but it’s important to be open with each other. According to Bustle, if the other person avoids expressing their feelings about you at all costs, they’re probably just texting you to entertain themselves.
9. Everything Moved Fast
The first few weeks of meeting someone is always exciting – you’re getting to know each other, what your likes and dislikes are, and so on. Even if you’ve had the best first date and immediately start envisioning your future together, be sure to take a step back. In most cases, when a relationship starts quickly, it’s more likely to end quickly, according to Elite Daily.