9 Subtle Signs Your Partner Is Thinking About Leaving You, Because Being Blindsided Sucks
Every relationship has its struggles, and it's hard to pinpoint if — or when — it will come to an end. Sometimes there are subtle signs your partner is thinking of leaving you, and other times the writing is on the wall from date one. Whether you've been with your partner a few weeks or a few years, small changes in their behavior, physical appearance, or attitude toward you can be subconscious signals that they don't see the relationship in the same way they used to. And though every couple is different, these signs do add up, and it could mean the end is near.
Maybe they've cut their long, straight hair into a pixie and got a perm. Maybe they've suddenly started hitting the gym. Even something that seems good — like a lack of arguing — could be problematic. If you're worried about the future of your relationship, it might be time to look at how things have shifted in the way they interact with you.
Examining your partner's behavior is an easy way to see if your relationship could be headed for the end. And though nothing replaces talking to your partner, looking out for these signs can help determine how you talk about your relationship.
1. Their Body Language Has Changed
According to Psychology Today, people judge the stages of their relationship on physical interactions. That's because touch is the first sense humans develop. Maybe they're holding your hand differently or the hugging and cuddling seem off. Maybe they're crossing their arms more frequently than they used to, which, according to a separate Psychology Today post, is a sign of being more closed off or more insecure. Paying attention to body language is one of the first subtle signals that could be a huge red flag for future relationship issues.
2. The Sex Seems Distant
Although sex can become a bit more of a routine as the relationship progresses, distance during sex can be a sign of waning interest. According to Elite Daily, sex makes couples feel closer than other forms of romantic touch. It's an intimacy that's more than just getting to orgasm. If it feels more like needing to reach an end than the journey you both are taking, it might be a signal that they're mind is on leaving you.
3. They've Changed Their Passcodes
Has their password always been your anniversary, but suddenly it's not working? This could be more than updating the security of their phone. According to a 2014 survey from the Pew Research Center, 67 percent of Internet users in relationships share passwords with their partner and see it as a sign of trust. A change in that password, without notice, could mean your partner no longer believes in that.
4. They Suddenly Have A Lot More New Single Friends
Every time my friend wants to breakup with her partner, she's suddenly super interested in meeting new people. It turns out, this isn't just a personality quirk of hers. According to Family Share, the change in social circles could mean that they're looking for a sense of freedom that they don't currently feel in the relationship.
5. They Become Super Forgetful
I once dated a guy who kept extra bottles of my favorite hot sauce in the fridge because he knew how much I loved it. Toward the end of our relationship, however, the hot sauce disappeared, and I was left with spice-less food.
According to Family Share, remembering the small stuff means your partner cares and has taken an interest in your likes and needs. If the little things that meant so much to you no longer trigger that intimacy and importance in the relationship, it can be a sign they see problems ahead.
6. You Don't Fight Anymore
Though not all fighting is good, the Star Tribune said that surveys from the United States and India found that constructive arguments help couples stay together longer. The U.S. survey results found that 44 percent of married couples believed that fighting regularly helped keep the lines of communication open. If you two are no longer talking about your issues, it could be a sign that they don't want to work it out anymore.
7. Their Routine Has Changed
According to Psychology Today, the desire to change factors into breakups. Essentially, they may begin to explore new things outside of the relationship as an exit strategy.
Examples of this include changes in behavior, like going to more events on their own or hitting up the gym a lot more than they used to. They could also take up new interests and hobbies that they said they would never want to try. Any change in routine or behavior could be a signal they're looking about a life without you.
8. They Get a Drastic Makeover
This goes back to changes in routine. Most of the time a new haircut or dye job isn't something to freak out about. But if your partner suddenly shaves the beard they've had during the entire relationship, then it might be a sign they're looking for something different.
9. They've Stopped Inviting You
Making long-term plans is a sign that your partner sees a future, and short-term plans show they want to spend time with you. So, if they're suddenly not inviting you to their best friend's wedding or their nephew's third birthday party, it might be a sign that they're thinking you won't be together for that long.
Though these signs could signal your partner is thinking the relationship is done, don't get too in your head looking for them. It may be the hardest thing to do, but according to the Better Health Channel open communication is important at every stage of a relationship. It might help to see things more clearly and get a better sense of what's going on instead of waiting for the signs.