There are some obvious things that will end a good relationship: infidelity, poor communication, lack of sexual chemistry, different relationship goals, just to name a few. But what about the more subtle things that destroy a relationship? It's not always obvious why a relationship begins to tank when both people are fairly nice and have a lot in common.
Sometimes it's the small things that add up that can crush intimacy: the mean-spirited joking, the dog you never liked in the first place, the partner who is at work more than in your arms. It's easy to tell yourself these things don't matter, and sometimes they don't. It's when they start adding up and upsetting the balance of love and respect in your relationship that a real rift can grow.
Having these problems doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed; acknowledging they exist and trying to fix them can actually bring your relationship back to the good old days. But how do you know there’s a problem when it’s not-so-obvious? Take a look below and see if you recognize yourself or your partner in these subtle relationship killers. If so, it may be time to sit down with your significant other and have an honest conversation.
1. You Dance Around The Truth
Passive aggressive behavior is annoying and can cause an even bigger problem down the line. If your partner does something to upset you, go without beating around the bush and tell them how you feel.
2. You Don't Make Eye Contact
Forbes notes that eye contact is crucial in a relationship, as it indicates respect, care, attention and love. If you find that you and your significant other aren't looking directly at each other most of the time when you are speaking, make an effort to change that and deepen your connection.
3. You Joke At Your Partner's Expense
Some people use humor as a primary form of communication, but making jokes at your partner's expense can cause tension. According to M Magazine sarcasm can kill a relationship, and I'd have to agree.
4. You're Always On Your Phone
When you're with your partner, you should be with them. Checking your phone every so often is OK, but make an effort to be in the moment with them.
5. You Greet Them With Complaints Or Requests
Badgering someone the moment you see them will only make them feel worthless. Instead, try being appreciative when you see your SO.
6. You Make All The Decisions
When one of you starts dominating the decision process, an imbalance forms in your relationship that is destructive. Of course it's fine if you agree that one of you always picks the takeout because the other doesn't care, but if most of your relationship decisions are being hogged by one person, that won't work.
7. You Show Your Gross Side Too Often
If you and your partner are OK farting and burping in front of one another, then more power to you. But if you've told your SO that you aren't a fan of their bodily functions and they continue the behavior, then it could make you less attracted to them.
8. You're A Workaholic
At first, you might be turned on by your partner's work ethic. But it can become hard of a relationship if you think your partner is more into their job than you.
9. You Give The Silent Treatment
The silent message sends the message that you don't want to put in the effort to work on a problem. Now don't get me wrong — taking a break can be a great idea to avoid saying or doing things you will regret. But giving someone the silent treatment because you don't feel like dealing with a problem is poison to a relationship.