For most people, sex plays an important part of a healthy relationship. Most people not only want to enjoy the experience themselves, but want their partner to as well. Although some may handle that by, you know, approaching their partner and straight-up asking them what they like and what they don't, others may find that slightly nerve-wracking. If you're wondering what kinds of things your partner might be into, but are intimidated by broaching the subject with your partner, you might want to know some of the surprising things women like during sex.
Of course, what a specific woman likes during sex will vary. Not only that, but likes and dislikes can evolve as the woman grows older or the relationship changes. This likely means that, from time to time, it can be difficult to keep track of what your partner likes during sex. That being said, the most important things that a woman likes during sex probably won't change all that much over time. Knowing just what your partner likes in bed will keep you both happy, which is a win-win. Don't be embarrassed by what you (or your partner) likes. As sex and relationship expert Megan Stubbs tells Romper, as long as you're in a healthy, consensual relationship, what you like in bed is normal — and your own business.
1. Slowing It Down
According to Stubbs, this is often overlooked in magazines, movies, and on TV shows, but you should still take note. Especially for moms who are in high demand all day long, slowing things down can have real benefits. "Going slow would be, I think, such a welcome reprieve from the day-to-day hustle from a mom’s daily life," Stubbs says. "It also helps her get fully relaxed, in the moment, and then she’ll be better able to orgasm later on as the experience goes on."
2. Being Ravaged
So maybe this doesn't come as too much of a shock, but, as Dr. Laurel Steinberg, clinical sexologist, relationship therapist, and professor of psychology at Columbia University, tells Romper in an email exchange, women want to know that their partner has been thinking about them all day, that's there's a serious level of desire there. Women like to know that you're turned on just by the woman that they are — and then shown that when the two of you are together later on.
3. Dirty Talk
Although the general public might know that many women enjoy dirty talk during sex, Stubbs says it can sometimes come as a surprise to both the woman herself and her partner. Try it out — you just might be on to something.
A woman doesn't need a full and complete performance review but, as Steinberg says, "many women report liking to know when they are pleasing their partner." They want to know that what they're doing is working for you, so don't be afraid to tell them.
5. Getting (A Little) Rough
Some women like a little bit of roughhousing during sex, according to some unscientific polling conducted by Maxim. Gentle, playful, roughhousing can make a big difference. If you're going to incorporate some of this into your sex life, however, a conversation might be warranted. Obviously, always respect your partner.
6. Trying New Things
No one wants sex to follow a script or be entirely routine — that's not sexy. According to the previously-mentioned Maxim article, mixing it up a bit position-wise can help inject a feeling a excitement into your sex lives.
7. Being Allowed To React
According to Stubbs, women like it when they're given the opportunity to react during sex and express whatever feelings they'd like. If everything is cookie-cutter, in-the-moment reactions likely will get a bit stifled.
Again, sex shouldn't be scripted. Stubbs says that keeping a woman guessing is key. "Maybe it’s just all about her one night and she’s like 'Oh, are we going to have sex?’ And he’s like, ‘no, not unless you want to," Stubbs says. "What a change that would be." Surprises, in sex as in life, can be good.
9. Forming A Connection
Although it might seem silly, Stubbs says one of the things that women like most about sex is the connection they form with their partner while being intimate. Not only is the act itself something that makes the two of you feel closer, but the hormones your body releases while having sex also play a role. Forming a connection might seem secondary when it comes to sex, but don't count it out — connections are what relationships are all about.