Secrets and relationships are often at odds. For instance, you shouldn’t make major purchases on the sly if you and your SO share finances. And it's probably not a good idea to hide the fact that you’re married with children. Those are pretty important facts to disclose. But there are tons of little things it’s OK to hide from your significant other. And if “hiding” sounds bad to you, maybe consider it “keeping the mystery.”
To paraphrase Dan Savage, a relationship is not a deposition. You don’t have to divulge everything about your dating history, personal tastes, or Internet browsing habits. Some things are better left unknown for your own personal comfort, or sometimes theirs.
As long as you’re upfront about what you both want in a relationship and communicate well, then keeping a few things to yourself is fine. Maybe your partner doesn’t need to know exactly how much time you spend playing Candy Crush weekly, or how many secret boards are floating around your Pinterest account. And whatever you wrote in a LiveJournal as a teenager is definitely acceptable off-limits material. Overall, there are a few quirky or personal or embarrassing things that can be left out of your relationship with no harm.
1. Your Most Random Thoughts
I was once in a relationship with a guy who asked "What are you thinking about right now?" all the time. And I would be thinking something like: Has anyone ever tried to train a bomb-sniffing cat? And how did that go? Some thoughts are best kept to yourself.
2. Your Entire iTunes Catalog
Sure, it's helpful to share your general music tastes with your partner. But the fact that you own the entire Ashlee Simpson discography? That can stay between you and your earbuds. (No shame: "La La" is a good workout jam.)
3. Your Selfie Collection
Or the hundreds of pics of your pet. Or the daily photo catalog of your lunch. Sometimes your pics are just meant for you, and that's okay.
4. Your Real Thoughts On Their Cooking
Sometimes it's the thought that counts. If your SO brings you breakfast in bed, who cares if the toast is slightly burnt?
Snack stashes are a basic right. Maybe your partner doesn't need to know about the bag of crackers in your purse. Or the secret candy bars in the top cabinet.
6. Your Netflix History
Whether you've been watching cerebral documentaries or mainlining Gossip Girl, some viewing history is best kept to yourself. Everybody has at least one guilty pleasure show that may be difficult to admit.
7. Your Sick Day Habits
Your SO can remain innocent of the things you have to when you're sick. It's fine if you don't talk about everything that went down with the Neti pot this morning.
8. Ancient Fan-Fic
That InuYasha story you wrote ten years ago? No one has to know. No one.
9. Your iPhone Browsing History
Phones have become an extension of everyday thoughts, and it's easy to search any random thought, worry, or health question that pops into your mind. These are pretty meaningless, and your SO does not need to know you searched for "Lunchables coupons" last week.