I'd be lying if I didn't admit the current political climate changed my outlook on a lot of things. Everywhere I look, it's hard to escape all the current conflicts of our world. This, of course, has taken its toll on my mental health more than anything, leaving me with an abysmal feeling nearly every morning I wake. Having children, along with this never-ending, seemingly worse-by-the-day stream of stress, is even more challenging. I'm sure I'm not alone in noticing things moms do because of their anxiety, especially with all we're stressed about these days.
Though arguably worse, my anxiety isn't the result of this past election cycle. As long as I can remember, I've been anxious. That anxiety, along social avoidance and my obsession compulsion disorder (OCD), make most decisions for me and before I ever get the chance to think something through. While some say, "I'm so stressed" as a way of communicating their feelings, it's a whole other beast to live with the diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Regardless of symptom management via medications, therapies, and other various techniques, at my core I'm anxiety-ridden. There's no shortcut around it. I wish it were minimized to just "a stressful day." Sadly, it's so much more than that.
My two kids know that I love them. They also know our days typically revolve around certain routines and schedules to alleviate some of my anxiety. They know no other way for me to be but at the same time, I wish I did. Having to constantly revolve my life around the anxiety is tiresome and yet, I wake up day after day to do it all over again. Being a mom means rearranging things to suit my nerves, not the other way around. Here are just some of those things I've done — that I'm sure other have as well — because of anxiety.