In many ways, having a child is an exercise in humiliation. Like, don’t get it twisted: We love those little jerks. But they can be really, profoundly embarrassing. From raging tantrums that came out of nowhere (nowhere!) in the middle of the produce section, to shouting about bodily functions in restaurants, to being seemingly hellbent on breaking everything wherever you go, kids are like tiny versions of your sloppy drunk friend that you have to take care of. You’re left somewhere between apologizing for her and trying to just get her through whatever the hell confusing thing she’s doing.
But while an apologetic glance to strangers with their varying degrees of sympathy can usually be warranted (and appreciated), there are some things about being a mom that we should never, ever feel obligated to apologize for. Basically, these things break down into a few basic categories:
- Don’t apologize for having kids in the first place
- Don’t apologize for your kid when you wouldn’t expect an apology for the same behavior in an adult
- Don’t apologize for the stuff that has no effect on other people whatsoever
Time to dust off your trust old #sorrynotsorry hashtag, because these are some things you should give none of the eff’s about, ever.