I've never been the type of person that is comfortable with confrontation. Actually, I've spent a lot of time trying to avoid it, and because of this, I've had to learn how to make sure people in my life are aware of my feelings so that I feel like my voice is heard. Believe me, this is not an easy task. So before an issue became something bigger, I've always tried to figures out things to say to help stop an argument and find a peaceful resolution that everyone can live with. Open communication in any relationship is important, but sometimes a simple discussion turn into something much bigger, and you find yourself, whether you like it or not, in fight.
Voices start to rise, emotions are high, and inevitably feelings are hurt. So whether you are fighting with someone you really care about and you're invested in the relationship, like your partner, a family member, or a friend, or it's a person that you need to have a healthy relationship with, like a work colleague, take a step back before the fight escalates further. Sometimes you just need the right word t0 help you get beyond the anger and frustration and end any fight.
1"I Hear What You Are Saying"
When you're in an argument, you might find yourself just talking at each other rather than talking to each other. Letting the other person know that you really hear them shows that despite your disagreement, you value them and how they are feeling.
2"Now Hear What I'm Saying"
And this is the next thing you should say. It shows you are committed to finding a solution that is fair for both of you.
3"Write Me A Letter"
You might be quick with words and can fire off examples of why this person has made you so angry. But the other person might not do well with confrontation and just shut down. Suggest they write you a letter or an email that explain how they are feeling. It gives them time to think, share their feelings, and helps you really understand where they're coming from. This also shows you value them and want to move past the argument with a solution that works for both of you.
4"What Can We Do Now?"
This statement doesn't put blame on anyone and shows you are willing to move forward together. Asking what we can do helps move past the anger and onto a solution.
5"You Know What Would Help? Chocolate!"
When an argument gets heated, a break is good for everyone. After some chocolate, coffee, or wine, everyone has cooled down and gained some perspective. This doesn't mean the discussion is ended, but that a cooling down period was needed. You can even suggest a time to continue your discussion.
6"I'm Raising The White Flag"
If a fight has carried on for too long, realize there will be no winner and continuing to argue will just damage your relationship. Raise the white flag and ask the other person to do the same. Agree to disagree and come to terms you both can live with.
7"You're Really Cute When You're Mad"
If your're arguing with someone you love, distract them and yourself from the fight and remind them what really matters, your relationship. A cute comment like this will help soften the discussion and get you back on track to finding a solution.
8"I'm Going To Bed"
Everyone knows the old saying "never go to bed angry," but some therapists suggest this might be the best option during a fight. This gives both parties the chance to cool down and to choose another time to discuss the issue. If this isn't an argument with your partner, suggest you end the conversation until a later time that works for both of you.
While it can sometimes be the hardest thing to say, an honest I'm sorry can end a fight.