Every time I've been in a relationship, I've always hoped that the person I was with would be "the one." Each time q relationship ended, I found myself trying to figure out why things turned out the way they did. Looking back at my most recent breakup, I can say that my negative thinking was one of the main reasons that it didn't last. Although I wish I knew sooner that this was one of the things you need to stop doing if you want your relationship to stand the test of time , I'm thankful that I can now apply it to all of my future relationships.
Unfortunately, many people make the mistake of not realizing how their thoughts, actions, and habits can be reflected in their relationship. For example, if you think poorly of yourself, you'll feel that you're inadequate in your relationship. Likewise, if you're used to everything being all about you, the same selfishness will be reflected in your relationship. As a result, it can cause your partner to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and drained and even destroy what you're building together.
Of course, negative thinking isn't the only thing you should stop doing if you want your relationship to last. Here are nine other habits to drop if you want your relationship to stand the test of time.
1. Stop Assuming They Know Everything About You
According to Shape, you have to teach your partner what you like in order to make your relationship work. Assuming that your partner already knows everything about you can easily cause you to become disappointed when you discover that they don't. Whether it's a new relationship or one that's well established, there's always something new to learn about each other.
2. Stop Thinking That Things Have To Be Perfect
TIME noted that having grit — or experiencing bad times — in your relationship is a good way to make it last. Being with someone who will fight for you and your relationship, display loyalty, and remain devoted is something that far outweighs perfection.
3. Stop Thinking Negatively
According to HuffPost, negative thinking can ruin your relationship because it can make your partner feel as if they aren't doing enough. Instead of thinking of every argument or situation as catastrophic, use it as a way to communicate better with one another.
4. Stop Making Sex All About You
According to the aforementioned Shape article, learning what pleases your partner sexually can help your relationship last. Doing this can let them know that pleasing them also pleases you and that you care about what they like.
5. Stop Putting Your Partner Second
Redbook noted that you should choose your partner as your first family to help your relationship thrive. Relationships are supposed to be a team effort and referred to as a partnership. If you're still making them feel second to everyone else in your life, they could feel as if they hold no value.
6. Stop Assuming That Words Outweigh Actions
According to Reader's Digest, touching one another increases intimacy, which is a good way to help your relationship last. Though telling your partner "I love you," may feel like enough to let them know you care, giving them kisses or hugs will create a tighter union between the two of you.
7. Stop Hanging Around Negative People
Health suggested you surround yourself with happy couples because their habits and behavior will rub off on you. Likewise, hanging around couples with poor attitudes will impact your relationship, too.
8. Stop Fighting Dirty
As noted in the aforementioned Redbook article, couples who want a lasting relationship should learn how to fight fair. Although anger can cause you to react negatively in the moment, you should learn how to fight without tearing one another apart. Even if you don't agree with your partner's point of view, being able to see their perspective and find a way to diffuse the tension is how your relationship will continue to grow.
9. Stop Blaming Each Other For Everything That's Wrong
According to the aforementioned Reader's Digest article, you should stop blaming one another for everything that goes wrong. It can be tempting to place all the blame on your partner when you're upset, feel betrayed, or stressed, but that won't solve the issue. Instead of trying to point the finger at your spouse, try taking a look at what you can do better to improve the relationship.