Even though we tell our kids they should never hide things from us and that we'd never hide anything from them, the truth is parents lie to their little ones all the time. And sometimes, you're pretty good at it. You can put on your game face and spin a little white lie like a pro. But then there are the things you can't hid from your child, no matter how hard you try. Even if you think you're telling a very convincing lie and covering all your tracks, the kids can't be bamboozled. The jog is up! They're onto you.
Now let's be fair. Sometimes we hide things from our kids for really good reasons like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and the truth about where the family dog really went last summer. See, all good things to hide from your children. Now everyone breathe a sigh of relief they believed us on those ones.
Even when you think you're giving an Oscar winning performance and you've got your kids convinced about some tall tale you're selling them, it's best to know when you're already defeated. Here are nine things you can't hide from your kids no matter how hard you try.
1. That You're Not Really Mad
"I am so mad right now!" No you're not. You are trying so hard not to burst out laughing at how hilarious it was that your kid said a naughty word and used it correctly. It's written all over your face, lady.
2. That You Ate Their Candy
You many say they can only have one piece of candy, but the minute your kids turned their back, you inhaled three pieces of chocolate. Now the evidence is on your face and the wrappers on the counter. You are busted.
3. That You're Throwing Out Their Art
Hell hath no fury like a 5-year-old that caught you throwing away her precious art work. Sure you may say you love every drawing and scribble, but she's on to you and wants proof you're keeping everything.
4. That You're Not Really Going To Bed
You try sneaking out of their room before they're totally asleep but a tiny voice asks "Where are you going?" and you respond "I'm going to bed." They know there will be lots of TV time and snacks in your future. Seriously, you're not fooling anyone.
5. That Good Foods Can Be Gross
Sure I made the entire family a kale smoothie ,and I am well aware that it looks and tastes awful. But I'm the mom, and I'm going to pretend like it's delicious.
6. That The Playground Isn't Closed
Because your kid won't understand that it's late, it's cold, it's covered in bugs, or you have zero energy to head to the playground, so you come up with a story that the playground is closed. Sure this works for a while, but day you'll be out with your kid you'll pass the playground, it won't be closed, and you lies will fall a part.
7. That You're Not "Almost There"
You've been in the car for hours. They're exhausted, you're exhausted, and everyone needs to pee. You've said "we're almost there" 300 times, but this time no one believes you.
8. That You Actually Hid That Lost Toy
You are the mom, the one who knows where everything is. So find that loud toy. You know, the one you took the batteries out of and hid in the attic. I'm gonna need you to find it for me.
9. That You Won't Leave Without Them
No you're not. You're not going anywhere. Just stop saying that because wherever you go, I go for the next 18 or so years.