Before my last breakup, I told myself that I wouldn't know what to do if I had to get back into the dating scene. Well, I was clearly wrong and, unfortunately, had to put that statement to the test. When I jumped back into dating, I realized that dating kind of sucks and there were so many things you never realized are turn offs, but are when you have to get back into it.
I'm already very particular about who I date. So when I had to jump back into the water, it especially difficult for me. To be honest, it's two full years later and I still get anxiety when I even think about dating. For me, men just don't understand that the things they do most of the times are really not attractive. Asking me to "send you a picture," is not a turn on; it's actually a huge turn off and probably will result in me not responding — ever. Another thing that is a total turn off is inviting someone over to their house on the first date. Sure, a home cooked meal is a cute gesture, but it can be a bit uncomfortable for a first date.
If you're not sure what things could be a turn off to someone you're interested in, these nine points could help you out.
1. Being Too Into Someone
According to Jet magazine, being too into your partner can be a major turn off to them because you seem clingy, insecure, and dependent. It's OK to have a life of your own, too.
2. Talking About Yourself Too Much
Talking about yourself too much can be an unintentional turn off, eHarmony noted. It's totally OK to tell your date about yourself, but when it's more of a monologue instead of a dialogue, it becomes a huge turn off.
3. Being Too Stiff
Everyone loves to have someone around that knows how to have fun so being too stiff can be a turn off, Thought Catalog noted. Take some time to enjoy the things you normally wouldn't. Get out, loosen up, and have fun.
4. Not Embracing Your Natural Beauty
Jet magazine also noted that not embracing your natural beauty can be a turn off, too. Though your partner may love to see you change up your look, when you begin to go overboard, it makes it seem as if you don't enjoy being yourself.
5. Being Indecisive
According to eHarmony, being indecisive can be a turn off because not making a decision can seem like laziness or lack of interest in your partner.
6. Being Too Friendly
Having a good friendship with your significant other is great, but when they treat you more like a friend than a lover, it can be a major turn off. Likewise, when they've become too friendly with other women, it can be a turn off, too.
7. Being Too Cheap
eHarmony noted that being too cheap can be a turn off to some. Though I love a man who is conscious about how he spends (it shows that he is financially responsible), your overall generosity can can be reflected in whether or not you take that unopened bottle of $10 wine back home.
8. Hiding Feelings
Though crying all the time can be a turn off, suppressing your feelings can be a major turn off too. People need to know that you have feelings and that you talking to you isn't like talking to a brick wall when it comes to emotions.
9. Giving Backhanded Compliments
According to Thrillist, issuing out backhanded compliments are a huge turn off. Hearing things like "you're pretty for a black girl," or "you have a pretty face for a bigger girl," are not the type of compliments that will make someone fall in love. Though you may mean well, these are actually turn offs to many.